Zong of the Week
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Cheese Shop of Horrors
Cheese Shop of Horrors
For Halloween chills, we take a look at the evil that lies lurking behind the unassuming facade of one neighborhood cheese shop. What we find there is a cross between Alice Cooper, Monty Python, and Broadway's "Little Shop of Horrors."
Who's Undead
Who's Undead
Halloween is coming... and we have bad news. All the people you know — or who you thought you knew — have recently turned into zombies. Even famous celebrities, like Rob Zombie and Danny Undead, are jumping on the zombie bandwagon.
Extra Garlic
Extra Garlic
Halloween is coming... and so are hordes of scary vampires! Here's a tip: there's one ordinary vegetable, which you can pick up your local supermarket, that will keep those blood-suckers at bay.
Dewey Beats Kerry
Dewey Beats Kerry
Hey, I have a question. If the pollsters are so good at measuring the political pulse of the public, then why do we need to go to all the trouble of having everybody vote?
Stop That Train
Stop That Train
What was Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam thinking, flying into the USA? We're a nation at war, and he's an outspoken peace advocate. Of course we had to deport him before he could threaten our security with his soul-searching folk songs!
American Cheese
American Cheese
Hey, all you super-American patriots out there! What kind of cheese are you eating? I sure hope it's American cheese!!
Boss of You
Boss of You
My most loathsome childhood enemy just reappeared in my life... in the most disruptive and irritating way possible.
I Buried Paul
I Buried Paul
Seems like everybody's changing their name these days. So I finally decided to change mine. But what new name should I pick? There are so many choices, it boggles the mind!
Jesus Was a Flexitarian
Jesus Was a Flexitarian
Need some help justifying the way you eat? Maybe you could look to the example of the great religious figures. Ask yourself, for example, what would Jesus eat?
Plan B
Plan B
We learned this week that the Bush team wants the legal authority to delay the November election in the event of a national emergency. Hmm... if Bush is behind in the polls, do you suppose there will be a national emergency at election time?
Teen Angst-a-Rama
Teen Angst-a-Rama
This is our take on "Dawson's Creek" and that whole generation of teen-angst TV dramas.
Repossessed
Repossessed
There once was a brilliant, talented rock band. But one day, they released an album that was pure crap. "What went wrong?" hardcore fans lamented. So the band explained...
One Terabyte Drive
One Terabyte Drive
Data's new address is One Terabyte Drive! That's right, this hard drive is so astonishingly huge, you could never fill it up, no matter what kind of files you have! Impress your friends! Be the first on your block to own this mighty drive!
(Please Don't Play) That Badger Song
(Please Don't Play) That Badger Song
The Zong crew set out to write some songs like that famous badger song. The results, alas, were horrible. But, as my grandmother said, "If you can't do something constructive, you can at least sit around and complain."
'Saturday Night' on Friday Night
'Saturday Night' on Friday Night
Corporate radio keeps getting worse and worse. For one DJ, it's the last straw when the radio station computer plays the Bay City Rollers' classic pop hit on the wrong day of the week.
My Big Fat Starship
My Big Fat Starship
A song that captures the boldness, the grandeur, the giddy fun of zooming around in outer space. Perhaps the Star Trek folks would have better luck if they made "Star Trek:My Big Fat Starship."
Grand Piano
Grand Piano
I shudder when I see a shiny grand piano in a new Hollywood blockbuster, because I know it will soon blow up or be crushed by stampeding dinosaurs. Fast ska song with some wicked classical piano licks.
