Uncle Dave's Family Eatery and Textile Emporium
I have made seven albums. I walk when the little white man (oh - how fitting!) is not present on the crosswalk thingey, and yet am not hit by cars. The elements inspire no fear in me. I have seen as wide a cross-section of Rodney Dangerfield films as is possible within my means. Sometimes I wonder if anything can kill me...
Tell me about your history? How did you get where you are now?
1969: Born in Columbia, Maryland
1996: Filmed my breakthrough role in "Primal Fear". Critics said I stole the movie from star Richard Gere.
1996-1998: Starred in many films, including "American History X" and 1998's excellent "Rounders".
October, 1999: Starred in "Fight Club", perhaps my finest work to date.
December, 1999: Woke up. Became disappointed as I quickly realized that I was not, in fact, Edward Norton. Took a good long poop. Read some "Hustler".
Have you performed live in front of an audience? Any special memories?
Let me tell you a little secret...I don't play live, but sometimes...I PLAY NAKED! Doesn't that blow your mind?!?
Your musical influences
entertainment, companionship, feeling good about myself, survival
What equipment do you use?
All of the instruments in my songs, despite how they might sound, are actually just me beating a dead aardvark's chest.
Anything else?
Don't settle for loose-fitting shoes - finding shoes that fit is easier than you'd think. Just complete this easy four step process! 1) go into a shoe store. Buy a pair of shoes. 2) Take the laces out of the shoes, and strangle a passerby with them. 3) When said passerby is either unconscious or deceased, try his/her shoes on - WITHOUT UNTYING THE LACES! That last part is very important. 4) If they fit, your task is done. Now, NEVER TAKE THEM OFF. If you do, you'll have to repeat this whole process all over again.
