I'm looking for an old fashioned girl
one that will be true
I'm looking for an old fashioned girl
one who won't leave me blue
I've known a lot of women
now wait, that's not exactly true
but I knew one for about a month
and she left me for a guy named Earl
I saw him in a bar one day
I said Earl, why'd you take my girl away
he didn't speak, he just punched me in the nose
now I have a deviated septum
in addition to all my other woes
So I'm looking for an old fashioned girl
one who wears a miniskirt and a thong
I would greatly prefer it if she had enormous knockers, too
I prefer the natural type, but implants will do.