The Ballad of Sweet Toddler
Parody of "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd"
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Story behind the song
A friend of mine made a slip and mentioned "Sweeney Toddler." It was too fun of an idea not to run with it. Not based on a true story. My children's cousins are all lovely individuals who are clean and not bratty at all (most of the time.)
Lyrics
Attend the tale of Sweet Toddler
His skin was pale and his diaper odder
He bites the ankles of teenage girls
And pulled the hair in pigtales and curls
Coddled by mom the master coddler
Is Sweet Toddler, The Demon Baby of Fleet Street
He kept his room quite upside-down
His fancy clothing is worn and brown
And if he didn?t get what he craved
A box full of mad squirrels was better behaved than Sweet,
Than Sweet Toddler, the Demon Baby of Fleet Street
Swing your paci wide, Sweet
And don?t eat your spit!
Freely flows the tears of those who babysit.
His room is full, his toy box bare
A stack of books and some teddy bears
A frog that croaks and a pile of slop
A dog, some blocks, stale food, and soda pop
In speech he is quite the twaddler
That?s Sweet Toddler, the Demon Baby of Fleet Street.
Inconsolable Sweet was,
Spit and slobber and slime he was.
Behind his back, under his shirt
Sweet hid mountains of dried poopy dirt
Sweet pouted and Sweet cried
Like a poopin? machine he cried
Sweet has toothed, Sweet is trouble
Sweet would play with his own spit bubbles
Sweet! Sweet! Sweet! Sweet! Sweet!
Attend the tale of Sweet Toddler
He?s was served a chocolate otter
What happened then, I cannot say
It just reminds me of Child?s Play. That?s Sweet.
That?s Sweet Toddler, The demon baby of Fleet Street.
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