Free download
Song Info
Genre
Charts
Peak #3,426
Peak in subgenre #498
Author
the reverend|ISDED
Rights
isded
Uploaded
September 04, 2009
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.9 MB • 128 kbps • 5:18
Lyrics
dear die-ary,
back up in the alley, and so much f*** ing time has passed
no melody to my murder, now just dust drifting through my past
dear die-ary, i confide in thee with words close to my heart
these twisted tales that my mind will forever keep in the dark
i embarked on a lonely journey through death's canyon, now revived
no bloodshot eyes, just homicide to survive this f*** ing ride
but here i stand, no less a man than when this shifty tale began
with one hand on some herbal as the other writes the plan
i roll steady, blaze the heady, stick my chest with some adrenaline
otherwise the weight of my own sick hell will finally f*** ing cave in
and block in any trace of who i am and leave me empty and wanna die
i don't wanna pray for suicide, let's end this ride
but some of y'all can't seem to comprehend where i'm coming from
you misinterpret what i say and blame it on delirium
say i'm f*** ed up, better buck up, back the f*** up or it's on
cuz this man you think is mental won't stob stabbing 'til you are gone
dear die-ary,
sometimes it seems a memory, and some things i can't recall
like despite what i've seen, i haven't been changed at all
but you never forget it, like not a f*** ing day has passed
sometimes your mind doesn't want to believe it was your past
that's when you slip and hit a relapse and black out on a flashback
visions of fallen comrades and the smell of gunsmoke attack
the horror-screams of our platoon as the explosion throws it's steel
wounding my brother and for others, their fate was sealed
the day before i arrived back in the dust, my lieutenant fell
on a rescue mission through areas that the platoon had yet to dwell
then they were hit, and no one else received a mark
images that get you twisted and make you eat your own f*** ing heart
as i come back to reality with crying eyes and bloody hands
i know i'll never be able to live life like a normal man
as much as i am still the me that left those years ago
many times i wish for the bliss of ignorance and those who just don't know
dear die-ary,
defribulation of the art, tribulation's spell is cast
rotting out the secret room where all my dearest dreams were at
so i'm back, but did you even f*** ing notice that i was gone?
two years away from the familiar things that keep your mental strong
but in the heat with bullets flying, i had to keep sh** in the zone
brothers gone, must go on with the mission to get us home
you'll never know of the feeling, the f*** ing hole left in the soul
a man can survive the war, but his mind is never whole
his hands may eventually hold a woman, or a bottle, or even cash
but his hands never forget the weapon and that chilling blast-blast
blast-blast...
blast-blast...
blast-blast, another body falls, i can feel it as he dies
forever i will strive to keep movement in these eyes
but with every breath, every still-beating of my heart
i will never forget the feel of a swift kill in the dark
dear die-ary,
final chapter - 6 months after, and there's not too much to say
the memories still haunt me, i have to face them everyday
some days i wish my head would just collapse and let me sleep
without reliving all the things i wish to avoid by my dreams
keeping up steady medication to keep myself content
i'm always a little better when i'm alone with cannabis plant
but a bong doesn't get rid of the demons, it just adds some fog
so eventually you have to face the facts and move the f*** along
so many crazy things to comprehend at only nineteen
some of y'all minds would dissolve having seen what i've seen
there's more to it than violence, desolation and solitude
things you just wouldn't understand unless you were me too
in the heart there will forever be a silence
shattered lives and dreams, missing figures and statistics
but i drive on and find purpose in the place that i belong
spillin' stories with lyrical fury over the beat of this song
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