Acoustic, singer/songwriter, rock and roll, pop.
Story behind the song
This is the result of too much daytime TV.
Lyrics
Listen, Barbara Walters, can
I try to make you understand
Won't you listen to me, Barbara, please!
I tried to get on Oprah's show
Jerry Springer told me no
Barbara can't you see I'm on my knees.
Chorus
I just want to be on television
I could be so real on television
All I know with certainty
Is what I see on my TV
I had a friend who had a friend
Who used to work for CNN
Maybe I could make some kind of news.
Bomb a band, steal a car
I know I wouldn't get too far
But, Barbara, I don't have a thing to lose.
Chorus
I just want to be on television
I could be so real on television
All I know with certainty
Is what I see on my TV
Bridge
All my life I've been a loser
No one ever noticed me
Now I know they couldn't miss me
Big as life on their TV!
I'll change my sex, I'll wear a dress
Just name the crime I will confess
Fifteen minutes fame is all I need.
Mutilation, masturbation,
Or incestuous relations
I won't balk at bestiality
Chorus
I just want to be on television
I could be so real on television
All I know with certainty
Is what I see on my TV
