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More social commentary, in the classic Southern Pigfish politically charged Arkansas bluegrass hip-hop sea chanties tradition. This was triggered by Madonna’s announcement that she was adopting an African baby (they’re reportedly “trendy”), which prompted the question (by me), “What about all the poor Roumanian vampire babies?” Well, they at least got a song out of it. In time for Hallowe’en….
Joe
[4/4, mod. fast folk-rock]
VAMPIRE ROUMANIAN BABIES
--J. wrabek
1.
They’re selling Roumanian Babies on the T.V. late at night,
Cute little children needing blood or else they’ll die;
They’re offering free shipping, and six for the price of five,
And you can start donatin’ blood as soon as they arrive.
CHORUS:
Vampire Roumanian babies for sale on my teevee;
We can adopt some together, if you’ll just marry me;
Their teeth are long and pointy, and their skin is kinda pale
But they’d prob’ly grow up normal if we can keep ‘em out of jail.
2.
An evil tyrant bred them, to make soldiers for his war,
But now he’s gone, and they don’t need the soldiers any more;
They say they’re cute and cuddly—kinda nasty when they bite—
But they sleep all day and only go outhunting late at night.
CHORUS:
Vampire Roumanian babies for sale on my T.V.;
We can adopt some together, if you’ll just marry me;
Their teeth are long and pointy, and their skin is kinda pale
But they’d prob’ly grow up normal if we can keep ‘em out of jail.
3.
We’ll eat a lot of garlic, and wear crosses on our chests;
There’s risks to being parents, but it shouldn’t mean our deaths;
They’re cheap to feed ‘cause they’ll just eat out somewhere else in town,
And woe betide the burglar who breaks in when they’re around.
CHORUS:
Vampire Roumanian babies for sale on my teevee;
We can adopt some together, if you’ll just marry me;
Their teeth are long and pointy, and their skin is kinda pale
But they’d prob’ly grow up normal if we can keep ‘em out of jail.
4.
We’ll send ‘em off to night school, to the mall to get their tans,
And just ignore the puncture marks on the necks of all their friends;
They’ll grow up to be attorneys, and sell invest-ments,
And maybe go to Congress—where I’m sure they’ll fit right in.
CHORUS:
Vampire Roumanian babies for sale on my teevee;
We can adopt some together, if you’ll just marry me;
Their teeth are long and pointy, and their skin is kinda pale
But they’d prob’ly grow up normal if we can keep ‘em out of jail.
REPEAT CHORUS TO END
©2008 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No babies, Roumanian or otherwise, were harmed in the writing of this song.
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