Lyrics
Stinker Harris
ã copyright by Noel Downs (May 1999)
It were stinker Harris down the mine,
Who had an itchy bum,
He'd been out all night eating curry,
And washing it down with rum,
The pressure started building,
And he knew he had to fart,
A smile moved across his face,
As he thought of the confinement and the dark,
Every one would hear it,
And they would smell it too,
But no one'd know who done it,
Cept for one or maybe two,
Stinker’s bowls had always been a problem,
And he'd been the butt of many a joke,
With things like, "She probably would have started then,
If you'd given her a bit more choke",
He had quite a reputation,
And had often cleared rooms,
And many a man had lost his lunch,
With a whiff of those evil fumes,
So he turned his back towards them,
Bent forward at the hips,
Clenched his belly tighter,
Cocked a leg and let her rip,
I started as a little squeak,
Like air let out of a balloon,
Then a pause of total silence,
Followed by a deafening boom,
Stinker suddenly got frightened,
There was nothing he could do,
Another salvo fired off,
And then he followed through,
It was on this second firing,
That things really went to hell,
With first a flash then a bang,
And then there came the smell,
Up on top they heard a sound,
The very ground it shook,
All knew that something had gone wrong,
All were afraid to look,
As they looked towards the opening,
Saw it spewing dust and dirt,
The siren started sounding,
They prayed no one was hurt,
It was Irish of the rescue team,
Who first bought any news,
How the breathing gear was useless,
Against the suffocating fumes,
In a strong and Irish brogue he said,
It were a swamp they must of hite,
It's like a methane gas explosion,
An the floor's all covered in shite,
Six bodies they bought out of the mine,
Seven dead in all,
They couldn't find poor stinker,
Just his bum stuck to the wall
The men refused to work that mine,
They closed the shaft down in the end,
One miner whispered, "his bums still down there,
And it could go off again",
So they sealed up that deadly shaft,
It became a memorial tomb,
To stinker Harris who had farted,
And the day he followed through.
