My Cousin Jed's a Sex Machine
Possibly an adequate B side or follow up song to 'Space Monkeys Ate my Woman'
These are Mike Morgan's entries for the 2003 fifty song challenge, featuring some lyrics by David F. Cox
Lyrics
Jed was short and plump
and his hair was in a tight, tight perm
all the children used to laughed at him
and I heartily joined in
but the strangest changes came upon the fat boy from the quay
he lost some weight and grew some hair and kicked me in the teeth
he's laughing and he's howling, he's a maniac and now he's free
it's the wierdest thing I've ever seen
but my cousin Jed's a sex machine
cruisin round in his MG
my cousin Jed's a sex machine
he's an ogre and his mouth's obscene
but still he's every lady's dream
strange as it may seem
cousin Jed's a sex machine
they say that women love a psycho
and Jed, there's never been one like you
up and at 'em stranger, is that a dick tattoo?
A sickness so transparent hit the fat boy from the quay
here's looking at you, kid -
cause they ain't gonna look at me
he's laughing and he's howling, he's a maniac and now he's free
it's the wierdest thing I've ever seen
my cousin Jed's a sex machine
cruisin round in his MG
my cousin Jed's a sex machine
he's an ogre and his mouth's obscene
but still he's every lady's dream
strange as it may seem
cousin Jed's a sex machine
He's no charm
no charisma
no brain
and I wish he'd give 'em to me
it's the wierdest thing I've ever seen
but my cousin Jed's a sex machine
cruisin round in his MG
my cousin Jed's a sex machine
he's an ogre and his mouth's obscene
but still he's every lady's dream
strange as it may seem
cousin Jed's a sex machine
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