Song Info
Genre
Charts
Peak #1,094
Peak in subgenre #157
Author
J goddess
Uploaded
August 11, 2006
Track Files
MP3
MP3 2.6 MB • 128 kbps • 2:48
Story behind the song
I had alot on my mind when I wrote this song. I felt like no one was listening to me. I was pretty enraged and this is when I let it all out.
Lyrics
when i was growing up the only thing i ever did was cry and sleep,
i`d go to school telling myself i shouldn`t eat,
most of the time i stuck to it,
there was nothing much to do yet,
in so little time, i had a thousand things
mixing up inside of my mind, i went blind
i couldn`t find a purpose,
i made myself feel worthless,
it wasn`t worth this pain i felt everyday,
i prayed to God for him to just blink me away,
but he insisted that i stay,
regardless of my temptations and mistakes,
i continued to pray
and as bad as i wanted to let go,
i held on and told myself that everything would be okay
someday, regardless of what it takes,
to fight this pain,
and in the end there`s probably more for me to lose
than to gain, its all the same
i don`t care what it is,
you look at the world differently when you`re a kid,
and i`m just trying to grow up,
and i`m searching for something but i dont know what
it is..i wish
i could just fly away
ive got so many plans
so many things i need to say,
and i think its meant to be,
the reason i feel so confused,
for my heart to feel so broken and my mind so abused,
i wish that i could take whatever it was
that made me feel so discouraged and worthless and numb
and erase it away
cause' i aint never try to hurt nobody else from my mistakes
but i guess thats not the point,
the point is that i messed up,
but that don`t mean nothing because i`m not giving up
and we`re all so cut-back,
we`re trying to relax,
its our incintive to keep moving,
and we don`t know how to act,
here recently, ive found the decency
to reconsider the possibilities withouth being bitter,
it`s cut-back but we act,
like its all the same
in this literary super ficial game
see for the longest time, ive wished to clear my mind,
thats why i bust a rhyme every now and then,
too many boulders on my shoulders,
i aint got no friends to lift me up no more,
so whats the purpose if i`m really feeling worthless,
and no matter what i do,
i can not seem to focus on the truth,
and besides of all this,
somehow ive managed to stay so focused,
and in the midst of all my confusion,
i`m starting to see past all of these illusions,
that have been blinding me so violently,
close your eyes please, just for a second
try to see inside of me, despite if we,
ever get through this, cant you see that im trying to change?
even though its probably useless,
i think its you not me,
you`re mind is just derranged
