This is a bar song that has on occasion stopped people from drinking so they could sing along with the chorus. Not politically correct.
Crazy One-Man Freak Show
I have been writing songs for thirty years and have some real clunkers to my credit. What you will find here are the least objectionable of the lot.
I have been told I have a voice with the appeal of a room full of alarm clocks on a Monday Morning. I have a classic face for radio.
I had slowed down for a while before I ran across the Just Plain Networking songwriter's forum and got recharged by the super people there. Join us if you will at www.justplainfolks.org
I play to entertain me. If you find anything here of any interest, enjoy and welcome. If not, please send my address to someone you don't like.
Thanks and have a safe and harmonic life, Mike
Story behind the song
This is a worktape of a song that started life in 1996 when I played a lot of open mikes in local bars and needed something to get their attention. It has gone through several changes and may evolve some more. I had a lot of fun with it and still do. Hope you enjoy it.
Lyrics
DRINK UNTIL SHE’S CUTE
© 2005 Mike Amason
When I first got here a few hours ago there were women all over the place
Now that I’m ready to settle on one they’ve all vanished without a trace
It’s just me left, and some old gal with a face like a Georgia mule
If I can swallow my whiskey and enough of my pride maybe things can still turn out cool
Ch
Give me a drink, I’m gonna drink more than I know I should
I’m gonna keep on pouring it down and see if she starts looking good
If the whiskey don’t work its magic soon I’m gonna be one drunk old coot
Bartender, leave the bottle on the bar, I’m gonna drink until she’s cute
Now, there’s brown bag ugly, and two bag ugly, and there’s ugly in the dark
Is it Halloween already? I think I’ll go outside and see where she’s got her broom parked
Some gals, when you look at ‘em time stands still, this one’s got a face’ll stop a clock
It won’t stop me, Uh-uh, no siree, but I’ve got to drown my mental block Ch
There ain’t no shame in lovin’ on an ugly gal, course there ain’t no glory in it, neither
She’ll kiss as good as any when the lights go down, I just don’t want all my buddies to see me with her
But it’s getting’ too late to be getting’ too picky, Right now she’s the only game in town
I need to get on and start making my move but first I need another round Ch
The first drink took the frizz out of her hair, the second one straightened out her smile
You know, if I close one eye, and cock my head, and kinda squint…
Hell, she still ain’t goin’ to drive nobody wild
It’s time to go ahead and get it over with, I’m getting to the bottom of the glass
If I sit here and get too much more bulletproof, I’m gonna fall right off my stool Ch
Well, here goes nothin’…I’ll be damned! Where in the hell did she go?
She was sittin’ right thereat the end of the bar not more’n a couple minutes ago.
There she goes out the door with my best friend Jim! I didn’t even see him come back in
You wait’ll I catch up with that rascal tomorrow- and see if I don’t make fun of him
Ch
Give me a drink, I already drank more than I probably should
And Jim snuck in here and snaked my fanny, just when she was starting to look…almost tolerable
But the whiskey still works, anyway, I’m a pretty damn drunk galoot
Bartender – Call me a taxi, before you start looking cute Ch
