About how I see issues in my life. Track is loosely based on some experiences I've been through. It's my favorite of all the songs I've done. Please listen to it with an open mind. MAD PROPS to Clockwork Beats for the free download!!!
Been into this rap thing for 20 years now, listening and studying more than practicing. At 25 years old, I'm finally making moves. Yeah, it's long over due, but it is all in due time. Listening to my songs and checking out my page, people may get the idea that J Malice is a monster or sicko; couldn't be further from the truth. J Malice has a heart and is willing to bet any amount of wealth that it's bigger than anyone who chooses to come through here. Don't judge a book by it's cover. You have to open the pages and read inside if you really want to know about someone.
Lyrics
I hear them talking, but secretly pay em no mind/
escape from reality, taking my time/
making it fine inside, aching behind/
my back has too much weight pressing down, I'm elevating these rhymes/
up and out so you can hear the message/
running out of time, doc, don't smear the essence/
I'm a clear success at commandeering anti-depressants/
white coats think I'm in fear to answer the questions/
thinking they have all the right stuff/
can't fight, try nothing, handing me medication in a Rainbow Brite Cup/
I spent that morning trying to disguise cuts/
with make-up from my girls mirror shelf in case they decide to look/
living within your thoughts/
there's no limit to the wicked visions your mind invents, sh*t that you maybe think you saw/
blocking out these docs, don't wanna listen to talk/
it's nonsense, enriched with this raw spit that I'm fixing to drop/
it presses down your membrane and relaxes on the muscles/
hard-crashing impact, plastering mathematic puzzles/
quadratic fractions, blasting to rubble/
all that revolves around me, rationalists asking for trouble/
I have a heart that is capable of loving/
but it's mashed down by madness and making it ugly/
hear that pen on the clipboard, notes taken are repulsive/
it's like my chamber hub has flaming ulcers
Behind the wall of sleep/
they talk to me/
taking shots to reach/
but talk is cheap/
prescriptions emptied in bed/
enriching the head/
with dread/
reversing the graduates words and making me the victim instead
Here in bodily form, but I've disappeared/
where am I, listen to this verse being positioned in ya ear/
their intentions, are clear/
take someone who's considered lost like they were all alone, far from home and drinking at ten cents a beer/
or bottle, either way, you're in control of white coats/
walls talk, asking how it feels to die slow/
find a way to try and cope is all I'd hoped/
must presevre nerve cells so I'll be able to exhibit my show/
sometimes I can't talk because my lips are numb/
open my mouth to speak and out comes some sh*t that's dumb/
anxiety, panic, mutilation, still succumb/
nerves grating, life-hating is where I get it from/
I was admitted here hoping for some help/
but so far, it seems these jokers are here only for their self/
why can't I be opening the mail/
getting a check for infinite cash instead of having the displeasure of owning my own hell/
it's devestating to always feel like you're time is short/
hearing voices saying, "you should try and find the door"/
feeling weak, equivalent to no spine-support/
watching the John Hancock as he signs the report/
know all too well what comes next, isolation and pill bottles/
at home in my medicine station, I've still got em/
a jacket too straight, down the empty feeling hall/
and fall asleep, depending on if I feel like living tomorrow
Behind The Wall Of Sleep
They talk to me
Taking shots to reach
Fence of concrete
Behind The Wall Of Sleep
They talk to me
