Elephant’s Hoof
Lyrics: John Paragreen
Music: Mark Smith
Well I try to be friendly with everyone I meet
I smile, say hello and act real sweet
But I shoot my foot every time I squeak
I never mastered the diplomatic technique.
My girlfriend took me to meet her mom and dad
They asked what intentions I had
When I said there’s no way I’m settling down
I thought their cat had died the way they frowned.
chorus.
I don’t tip toe around the block
Like an intellectual sleuth
I don’t come on like a rabbit’s paw
I’m as subtle as an elephants hoof.
Went to see my sister’s new baby daughter
Just like a lamb to the slaughter
Took one look, and said wow that kid is ugly
I lost two front teeth when she punched me.
chorus.
I don’t tip toe around the block
Like an intellectual sleuth
I don’t come on like a rabbit’s paw
I’m as subtle as an elephants hoof
Bridge 1
Tact means that something is nailed
To a floor or a wall
I’ve been leaving massive footprints
Since I was two feet tall.
Well I come home from work and hit the internet
I rap with bozo’s that I’ve never met
When I tell them to do this and that
They send messages saying I’m an obnoxious twat.
chorus.
I don’t tip toe around the block
Like an intellectual sleuth
I don’t come on like a rabbit’s paw
I’m as subtle as an elephants hoof.
