What do we really mean by "Performance Enhancing Substance"?
Music for sports lovers
TwineTender is all me at this point
Story behind the song
It occured to me that it would be funny if someone took the wrong performance enhancing substance before playing hockey. Seems like something little Jimmy might do if he were about 12....
Lyrics
Blue Pill Blues
Little Jimmy wanted to play
Like the stars on ice today
He heard they took some pills so nice
To help their performance on the ice
While staying at his grandpa’s place
He found some little pills, a case
To help your performance as a man
Take a pill to be tall and stand
When poor old Jimmy was all alone
He stole a few and brought them home
He popped one just before his game
Which led him to his claim to fame
You see his cup was just too small to hold
His swollen member as it growed
He lay their writhing on the ice
The trainer had to check him twice
Off to the hospital they raced
For fear that he would not stay chaste
The doctors asked what was going on
He told them of the deed he’d done
Now learn from Jimmy as you hear
This tale and go away in fear
For if you wish to enhance your play
Don’t take your grandpa’s Viagra™ away.
For in the game it is well known
Out of the game you can be thrown
For hitting or punching or kicking
Or in Jimmy’s case, high sticking..
