Seems like everybody's changing their name these days. So I finally decided to change mine. But what new name should I pick? There are so many choices, it boggles the mind!
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is a project with a simple goal: to create a new funny song every week. The Zong of the Week creative team has pledged to provide a steady supply of satirical and silly songs for your entertainment.
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Story behind the song
This is the Zong of the Week for September 5, 2004. It pays homage to the Beatles' "Paul is dead" rumors, circa 1968.
Lyrics
Paul was my name and it caused lot o' hassles
'Cause there are millions of Pauls and so many of them are assles
Just to say, "Hey, Paul," it's a misdemeanor
It's like yelling "Fire" in a crowded theater
When Paul does a crime
And I get the blame
I made up my mind
I'm changing my name and
I buried Paul
I buried Paul
Arms and legs and all
Yes, I buried Paul
I went to the name store to buy me another
I said, "Don't sell me Rick, because that's my brother."
I tried to buy Bruce, but it was preempted
Bob was marked down, but I couldn't be tempted
I said, "Sam is too plain
Biff is too quirky
And don't sell me Tom
Because it sounds like a turkey with
Cranberry sauce
Cranberry sauce
I can't be the boss
With cranberry sauce"
So what will it be? Wallace or Wendall
Christian or Kyle, Kurtis or Kendall
Tommy or Timmy or Tony or Terry
It's hard to decide 'cause it's so arbitrary
How nice to meet you, I'm Marcus or Manny
or Dylan or Dawson or Dieter or Danny
If you had a vote: Vintner or Vance
Liam or Lander, Lucas or Lance?
Nathan and Nigel are nice-sounding names
and Jeffrey and Jesse, Joey and James
Ryan and Roy both have a good ring
And Cyrus and Seamus, Stanley and Sting
I'll be signing my letters as Lucid or Larry
or Hercules, Homer, Helmut, or Harry
I'll change all my checks to Charlie or Chip,
or Sander or Steven or Simon or Skip.
I settled on Skip, which made everyone happy.
Than I ran into Max, who used to be Kathy
I told her about my name while we drank something fizzy
I used lots of verbs to make the story sound busy
The shadows grew long
I went on and on
Hit every detail
She started to yawn
She said "I'm very bored
I'm very bored
You are very boring
And I'm very bored"
I said "I buried Paul
I buried Paul
I have buried Paul
Yes, I buried Paul"
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