A fun song about Asian cuisine. A hyper-speed, jazz-fusion bender that turns a takeout menu into a fever dream of percussive piano and lyrical gymnastics. No filler, just raw technical heat and pure culinary chaos.
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Story behind the song
Lyrics and concept by Ward C Locke. Music produced using Suno AI.
Lyrics
Crab Rangoon, cream cheese bomb
Gong-bao jee-ding, gettin’ it on
Dzwo-dzong jee, sticky situation
Chun-jwen egg roll, total temptation
Beef with shee-lan-hwa, foggin’ the glass
Sesame chicken droppin’ seeds real fast
Moo-shoo roh, pancake seduction
Lo mein so long, pure noodle corruption
Hot and sour tahng, make your tongue confess
Won-ton? Nah, waw yow nee yes!
Duck sauce drippin’, fortune cookie tease
“Nee hway hun shing-yoon if you shyow-fay please
Tang-tsoo, climb my tower
Dan-fun egg foo young, keep me for hours
Mongolian beef ridin’ in real hot
Spare ribs sticky connect the dots
California roll, fake crab romance
Lung-jwen dragon breathin’ fire in my pants
Jyow-dzuh potstickers pop, shrimp toast flop
One more tsong-yoh-bing and I’m callin’ the cops!
Mah-poh doh-foo spicy and tender
Happy Family everybody’s a bender
Yow-gwuh jee-ding cashew ding-dong
Mee-fun Singapore, slippery all night long
Yoh-yoo salt-pepper rings of pure sin
Boneless ribs, bow-bow, let me in
House special fried rice, extra dan for the ride
Tsong-yoh-bing, flip me to the other side
Lyahng myen cold noodles, peanut butter glide
Volcano roll just erupted worldwide
Eel sauce slow drip, fortune says
“Ming-tyen zigh jow why my tomorrow again bae
Tang-tsoo! Dan-fun!
Mongolian beef make my knees come undone
Lung-jwen fire, jyow-dzuh pop
One dumpling away from callin’ the cops!
Lah-duh extra spicy
Tsway-duh extra crispy
Buy-fahn white or brown pick your poison
Waw yow dah toe-tung, gimme that headache sing!
Gong-bao! Dzwo-dzong! Chun-jwen all night!
Tahng drop soup drop everything aight!
Mee-fun chow fun lung-jwen thrill
Spider roll dynamite pay the bill!
From the first jyow-dzuh to the final check
Tongue’s in knots and my wallet’s a wreck!
Say the whole menu three times fast
In Mandarin and drunk good luck with that
Driver’s here, robe on, you know you will
“Nee juh-dow nee hway duh order’s here, chill.
