"All I ever wanted to be was Grand Poobah..." Howard Cunningham
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Song Info
Genre
Charts
Peak #74
Peak in subgenre #25
Author
Robert George
Uploaded
April 09, 2025
Track Files
MP3
MP3 8.3 MB • 320 kbps • 3:37
Lossless
WAV 39.7 MB
Lyrics
Redneck Oligarch 2018 Robert George
I was kickin back and watchin Iron Chef
When I got a visit from the ATF
They showed me photos of a guy Id met only once
Said theyd planted bugs, in his beer-a-mid and bear rug
And theyd been surveillin him fer months
They said hes in deep guano with the special prosecutor
He gets discount hot wings from the gals at Hooters
He sells lotto tickets stolen from the Stop n Go
And bootleg cable to a trailer park
He got that scar in the stockade out at Ft. Hood
He smuggles steroids that makes a man as hard as cord wood
He runs bathtub gin that tastes like Mop n Glo
Hes a real bad actor, hes a redneck oligarch
Hes got a foot long Phil Robertson beard
And that venison he sells aint made outta deer
Weve been watchin with night goggles and a drone
Hes got a bunker underground, and we think his sniff hound is a clone
They said hes in deep guano with the special prosecutor
He gets discount hot wings from the gals at Hooters
He sells lotto tickets stolen from the Stop n Go
And bootleg cable to a trailer park
He got that scar in the stockade out at Ft. Hood
He smuggles steroids that makes a man as hard as cord wood
He runs bathtub gin that tastes like Mop n Glo
Hes a real bad actor, hes a redneck oligarch
The boys at Langley have compiled a secret dossier
Hes a Podunk Putinhis dad was a white trash Kruschev
And his uncle works the border as a damn coyote
Yeah, his brother might be Rush Limbaughs saucier
And his sister might be Ann Coulters sous-chef
And his cousin might be Ted Nugents roadie
Hes in deep guano with the special prosecutor
He gets discount hot wings from the gals at Hooters
He sells lotto tickets stolen from the Stop n Go
And bootleg cable to a trailer park
He got that scar in the stockade out at Ft. Hood
He smuggles steroids that makes a man as hard as cord wood
He runs bathtub gin that tastes like Mop n Glo
Hes a real bad actor, hes a redneck oligarch
I said, Boys, I know my rights
And none o this has been proved
I only met this guy
Cos ahm getting hitched in July
And he knew how ta git my Dolly Parton tatt removed
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