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Song Info
Genre
Charts
Peak #1,422
Peak in subgenre #142
Author
Vagenda
Rights
1995 Vagenda. All rights reserved
Uploaded
February 15, 2016
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.3 MB • 160 kbps • 3:47
Story behind the song
*WARNING*
If you would rather enjoy this piece of art and have it come to mean something truly unique to you, do not read the backstory. Just as the band “Aerosmith” once criticized the music video industry of robbing fans from having their own visions of imagery associated to a song and supplanting it with some “official” footage, so too can knowing a songs backstory potentially come to rob it of having some special place and meaning for you.
Or both can exist. It’s all really subjective. Proceed with understanding.
Thank you,
V
Musical Conception
I had the vocal styling of Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) in mind for this song originally. It is a song that could sound great in many styles, I believe.
The Official Backstory
This is a song about someone who cheated on me during a March Break five times with both genders. They thought it was important to have me travel home from university for the weekend so that they could tell me about it.
…and tell me about it they did – like a sadistic dentist – one person at a time – followed by long pauses that did not look like there was any remorse or regret on thier face, just anguish as I take it in on mine. Then after the pause – they quickly evolved their own catch phrase that in my mind now defines them.
“ok well… wait… bacuase there is more…”
Then I would hear about the second one.
“ok well… wait… bacuase there is more…”
Then I would hear about the third one.
“ok well… wait… bacuase there is more…”
Then I would hear about the fourth one.
“ok well… wait… bacuase there is more…”
Then I would hear about the fifth one.
Five people in seven days. All involved were personal friends. It was painful, and I think, honestly in retrospect, that they enjoyed it.
It was educational. I remember for the first few days being described as “walking everywhere I went like I was holding a hand grenade that had a pin missing”.
I got my head around what it all was, and decided who I wanted to be as a person in designing what my reaction would be going forward.
I’ve never had anyone unnerve me like that ever since.
Lyrics
Not My Friend
© 1995 Vagenda. All rights reserved
(September, 1995)
(Composed at age 18)
(Recorded on December 14, 2015)
Dave
You opened up to me
Confessions in your grieves
You must have brought it on yourself
Because your lying through your teeth
Truth is
Some believe you for a while
Through your sick and twisted smile
But you are no one's friend
You just look out for number one.
Can you feel
My eyes when
They see through
Your shallow
Fucking soul
Tear the threads
Weaved inside
Each man's pride
Guilts a knife
Suicide
Tension builds
My fist clenched
I'll give you
A taste of
Honesty
But who am I
Who are you
I don't care
You're just a disgrace!
All my friends, they’re all in my head
And I don’t know if I’ll see the day
When all of my friends lose fear of themselves
But I don’t give a fuck anyway
‘Cause I’m right here, entrapped in my shell
And I don’t know if I’m getting out
Until the day I realize what life’s about
*Ronda Rousey* "I have this one term for the kind of woman that my mother raised me to not be, and I call it a 'do nothing bitch'."
*Hatsune Miku* "Make me fries!"
*Guitar Solo Begins*
*Ronda Rousey* "like the kind of chick that just like tries to be pretty and be taken care of by somebody else. That's why I think that it is hilarious like when the people like say my body looks masculine, or something like that and I'm just like 'listen, just because my body was developed for a purpose other than fucking millionaires doesn't mean it's masculine. I think it is femininely bad-ass as fuck because there is not a single muscle on my body that isn't for a purpose because I'm not a do nothing bitch'."
Trust
Like love, are dangerous roles
There is no way to control
You give it all away
And they try to steal your soul
But you are not my friend
No, you are not my friend
You are not my friend
I fucking should have know better.
I just can't
Wait for the
End of the
Earth, please will
It'll arrive
Sun explodes
Sets me free
My atoms
Somewhere else
Spawn a tree
The black hole
Is the gate
We are sperm
And that is
The order
Don't you try
To tell me
That I'm lucky enough!
All my friends, they’re all in my head
And I don’t know if I’ll see the day
When all of my friends lose fear of themselves
But I don’t give a fuck anyway
‘Cause I’m right here, entrapped in my shell
And I don’t know if I’m getting out
Until the day I realize what life’s about
