Lyrics
1-800-DIAL A CUSS
© 7-2000 Rick Terry
Sometimes we all reach the end of our Wits
We all do things that we regret
When I've had all that I can stand
That's when I become, a Cussin Man
Now Cussin's an art, that's developed with time
To blow a little pressure off a tortured mind
An Expert Cusser, If you've ever heard
Can pull it off, and never use a Four-Lettered Word
CHORUS ( " A " )
Words like, Cockeyed, Blasted, Stinking, Thayng
Cotton-Pickin, No-Good, Flippin-Ding-Dang
Knot-Headed, Knuckle-Headed, Slimey-Durned-Bugger
Under-Handed, Knuckle-Bustin, Sum-Um-Or-Other
One day I saw some guy bust his thumb
So I stood back, and waited, thinking, Here It Comes
His head throwed back, he was one hurtin feller
But the best he could do was one long Beller
Well, I thinks to myself, "That boy needs some help"
So I joined in to Cussin for him, by myself
I Cussed ten minutes, with Professional Ease
When I got done, I could see he was pleased
CHORUS ( " B " )
Words like, Stinkin, Crappy, Darned-Sleezy, Piece of Junk
Pop-Eyed, Dirty-Rotten, Diddely-Dunk
Dag-Gone, Dog-Gone, Freakin-Trash-Shame
Low-Down, Scum-Suckin, Real-Dirty-Name
If you ever need help expressin yourself
Might do you good to know, we're here to help
We're at, Triple -W-Dot -C-U-Double-S- N
We're the Cussin Institute, that helps you say what you can't
We're Durn-Shore hopin you the Blasted-Best
But If You're Cuss-Challenged, Or Emotionally-Stressed
We're the Cockeyed-Corporation, you can trust
Call, 1-800-DIAL-A-CUSS
- - - - ( "SOUND OF PHONE BEING DIALED") - - -
"Hello, you've reached DIAL-A-CUSS. All our Kah-Kah-May-Me lines are busy right Flippin-Now,
But if you'll leave a Blasted-Message, we'll Shore-As-Stinkin-Feet, get back to you."
Chorus - ( "A " and " B ", Merge in Succession ) (TAG:) If you have a hard time saying what you must Call, ONE-EIGHT-HUNDRED-DIAL-A-CUSS
