Not Okay (home-made demo)
Home-made (!) demo version, *NOT* a recording of semi-professional studio quality - and with me on vocals, but I can't really sing. Decided to release this demo anyway, because of the meaning the song has to me personally.
hobby songwriter, always looking for musicians to collaborate and bring my 40 songs to life
Story behind the song
The story is basically about a stupid mistake I made and others saying that it was okay, it wasn't that bad 'n stuff, but that's nonsense. It really was NOT OKAY and kept bothering me, so I ended up writing this song.
Lyrics
Dripping down from my head
The guilt of an angry fool
My shame in the colour of red
Washing my hands in a blood-filled pool
The shadows of my past caught up to me
Like a storm bringing rain and misery
But I can't run away
The ghosts haunting me are here to stay
I know it's not okay
No matter what they say
I've made mistakes
And oh I'm not okay
No matter what you say
You don't know how it aches
I’m a stranger to myself
With darkness inside of me
I’m a riddle, I’m a hopeless headcase
I’m angry, I’m stupid, but I don’t wanna be
Like thunder follows lightning, I get mad
When you aggravate me, I lose my head
You should try to get away
Before my anger gets to ruin another day
I said it's not okay
No matter what they say
It's my mistake
And so I'm not okay
No matter what you say
Oh, you don't know the pain
Every rain stops pouring down
Like the silence never makes a single sound
And the sun will shine again
Oh, but till then ...
I'll be playing this sad sad song
I know it's not okay
No matter what they say
I've made mistakes
And oh I'm not okay
No matter what you say
You don't know how it aches
I said it's not okay
No matter what they say
It's my mistake
And so I'm not okay
No matter what you say
Oh, you don't know the pain
Words and music written by Andy Jakesch
All rights reserved
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