This is for my friend Typhoid Lulu. She's a girl. Sometimes she's purple. Sometimes not. Purple, I mean. What was that? Did you hear that? I better go see what that is.
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Lyrics
This is the story of Typhoid Lulu
the music critics thought she was koo-koo
ate endangered animals for a thrill
and just for kicks bent me to her will
They were just telling lies
the public to surpirse
making her life look a mess
but that’s the price of a free press
This is the story of Typhoid Lulu
she liked to sing while wearing a tutu
sometimes in purple and sometimes in pink
sometimes in scarlet just to make ‘em think
they said she was only a flash in the pan
caught up with some crazy man
but tell me how on earth could they know
they never bothered to ask
This is the story of Typhoid Lulu
she’d look great even in a mumu
on good authority I know she bathes
every other day and water saves
the critics called her a dirty hippy
she defended herself, they called her lippy
and when she said that they could kiss her ass
they said whatever happened to cla-a-ass
This is the story of Typhoid Lulu
I love her even more than Yoo-hoo
but she’s not a beverage, I understand
She isn’t bottled and she isn’t canned
they said she was the only reason I had a deal
to make records when I sound like a seal
but Lulu told them with a great big smile
“Biff is beautiful, so damn your eyes.”
(wow, Lulu, that’s harsh.)
This is the story of Typhoid Lulu
she may not be as holy as Desmond Tutu
but if you think about it, just who is?
there’s just not that much holiness.
the critics called her an egotist
I’m not sure exactly what that is
but it doesn’t sound approbative
critics are always so negative
This is the story of Typhoid Lulu
When I think of her I say “woo-hoo!”
there really isn’t more to say
these words are saying all I may
they said our love was really bad
I think that we just made them mad
they couldn’t understand us, either one
but living well means that we won.
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