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The Legend Of Leapin' Lanny Poffo
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This song is about the legend of Leapin' Lanny Poffo and the first time I took steroids. Music is a karaoke version of Coldplay - Clocks by an unknown shmuck, most likely hired for only a day at Labor Ready.
alternative rock acoustic rap jazz rb metal blues adult funny comedy gangster humor improv improvisation cover randy savage vagina sleepa macho bleeding hulk hogan wwf taco peds 25 cent maryk
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THIS IS THE BEST THING ON SOUNDCLICK! Better than Tom Waits on STEROIDS. The Savages will build you up and then bring you down hard. Finish you off with a well
"Hulkaholics Anonymous" is mostly improvisational and chronicles many of Macho and Hulk's most poignant moments. Macho decided to give up being a Rap Phenomenon when sales of his last album, Be A Man, were the lowest in Wal-Mart history. The new album delivers a Classic Rock/Grunge vibe with crude-imprompteau lyrics. Since it's release, "Hulkaholics Anonymous" has been despised by music critics for it's raw sound and on-the-fly lyrics. As well, many former WWF wrestlers have taken legal action against Savage for revealing their sexual and recreational excesses together in great detail. When asked how he felt about sharing his most intimate secrets with all of America, The Macho Man replied: "Well, I'm very excited about everything. This album is something I wanted to do ever since I saw my very first Ratt concert. I always invisioned myself singing into that WWF microphone instead of breaking it over Jake The Snake's head. Some people may be dissapointed in my transition to rock music but, that's really where my heart's always been. I knew when I was in the recording studio that this was, truly, the only waY to chronicle such a prolific career. As far as intimacy goes, I've already been intimate with just about every WWF superstar since the eighties and, in the album, I cover those moments very thouroughly. I don't care if America doesn't understand The Macho Man, it never really has..." While critics say "Hulkaholics Anonymous" is the worst thing since Hulk Hogan and The Wrestling Boot Band, I say The Macho Man always performs. It's obvious after you hear the album, Savage's unrivaled talent and perservation are what continuously fuel America's need for entertainment and excess. In an exclusive radio interview Savage was quoted saying: "If I don't see you buying my album at the record shop this holiday season, I'm gonna smash all your presents, put a pine tree in your butt and hang jingle bells from your nipples. Then, I'm gonna drink some egg nog mixed with a little Pabst Blue Ribbon. Do a few lines of meth and then, when you regain consciousness, I'm gonna wrinse and repeat, OOOOOH YEAH!" -thespoof.com
Song Info
Genre
Podcasts • Comedy - Adult
Charts
Peak #37
Peak in subgenre #6
Author
The Randy Savages
Uploaded
May 24, 2005
Track Files
MP3
MP3 2.3 MB • 128 kbps • 0:00
Lyrics
The Story Of Leapin Lanny Poffo (First Time I Took Steroids) Words by: The Randy Savages Music by: Some shmuck* Let me tell you about the first time I took steroids I was 12 years old And my brother, Leapin Lanny Poffo Said "Hey...you wanna get high, Randy? Higher than you've ever been before And I said "Fuck, yeah! Let's do that shit!" 4 hours later... I found myself lying, naked, In the bathtub with an erection My muscles were tense And I had hair on my chest and on my ass I got up to take a piss Saw Jesus Christ over my shoulder In a reflection in the mirror Then I saw... Judas was looking at me from the toilet And then I realized... "I'm Judas!" And then Lanny came in and said "Randy, you're just havin' a bad trip" And then I blacked out I hit my mouth on the toilet seat and chipped my tooth Second time I took steroids I was 18 years old My father gave them to me, he said... "Randy, these are the syringes I used when I was a wrestler" "And now I'm passin' 'em on to you, brother" So I shot up And I went to Wal-Mart to buy him a present Third time I took steroids Summer of '73 I was playin' baseball For Cincinnati... Reds But, I got fired for using steroids I went back to my job at BK Thought, hey... I was going to be a wrestler So I went to see Vince McMahon (Jacked-up on smack) He patted me on the back and said "Macho, you're hired!" Went back to BK and they said "You can't quit, you're fired!" "For using steroids" "Was that really necessary?" "You were just flippin' burgers and making French fries" Fourth time I took steroids Wrestlemania 1983 I beat Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat senseless And sent him to the hospital But, after the match I owed, The Ultimate Warrior, $90 bucks And that was $90 bucks this Macho Man didn't have So I called up my brother, Leapin' Lanny And I said "Hey, I really need you to bail me out, brother!" So Leapin' Lanny shot-up And he got in his beat-up Dodge And he drove down to Madison Square Garden And there I am Down on my knees in the locker room Begging The Ultimate Warrior not to beat me And Lanny kicks in the door And beats The Ultimate Warrior senseless And then he does his, signature, "Leapin' Lanny Leap" Off of the top of the lockers And breaks The Ultimate Warrior's neck And we steal his steroids And all of his cash and his wedding ring And we pawn it and we take the cash And we ride off into the sunset To Mexico to buy more cheap Mexican steroids And await another Wrestlemania And another Ultimate Warrior (*Thanks to whatever karaoke-shmuck did the crappy "Clocks" track)
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