M.O.A. (Machines of Agony) is an American crossover thrash band from Los Angeles, CA
M.O.A. (Machines of Agony) is an American crossover thrash band from Los Angeles formed by brothers Tommy Gardner and Johnny Gardner. The band mixes elements of hardcore punk and thrash metal, with lyrics that are often humorous and politically incorrect
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Woke up this mornin', feelin' kinda strange
My privates are screamin', a biological exchange!
From that dive bar last week, a hazy memory
Now my body's a circus, a medical decree!
[Chorus]
Got the sniffles, got the itches, got the somethin' I can't name!
My body's a petri dish, playin' a dangerous game!
Another badge of honor, from a night I don't recall!
Yeah, I'm a walking STD, gonna infect you all!
[Verse 2]
Chlamydia creepin', like a silent, stealthy dread
Gonorrhea's a party, makin' my urethra red!
Herpes decided to RSVP, in a delightful rash
Syphilis is the encore, gonna leave me in a stash!
[Chorus]
Got the sniffles, got the itches, got the somethin' I can't name!
My body's a petri dish, playin' a dangerous game!
Another badge of honor, from a night I don't recall!
Yeah, I'm a walking STD, gonna infect you all!
[Bridge]
Tried to play it cool, thought I was immune
Now I'm a cautionary tale, beneath the pale moon!
Doctor's lookin' grim, shakin' his head in despair
Said, "Son, you've got more somethin's than a used car lot to share!"
[Guitar solo]
[Verse 3]
Condoms are for rookies, who ain't livin' on the edge
My life's a gamble, I'm pushin' past the ledge!
So when you see me comin', with a wink and a sly grin
Remember this ol' boy, where do I even begin?!
[Chorus]
Got the sniffles, got the itches, got the somethin' I can't name!
My body's a petri dish, playin' a dangerous game!
Another badge of honor, from a night I don't recall!
Yeah, I'm a walking STD, gonna infect you all!
[Outro]
Don't feel too sorry, it's the life that I chose!
Just wash your hands, and cover your nose!
HA! More where that came from!
