Song picture
Too Drunk To Function
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A cursory lesson on the evils of drink. Heed these wise words. Like I didn't.
indie beatles guitars pixies wildhearts clash cardiacs
Artist picture
Trash-pop, guitar rock and melodic miscellany.
Not so much a band as a bloke with a guitar and a laptop, The Smivets deliver a genre-bending blend of pop, rock, punk, prog and many other monosyllables.
Song Info
Genre
Jazz • Swing
Charts
#84 in subgenre Peak #4
Charts
Peak #44
Author
Steve Smith
Rights
Steve Smith
Uploaded
May 18, 2016
Track Files
MP3
MP3 3.8 MB • 128 kbps • 4:11
Story behind the song
Tried to make this sound as if the whole band were completely steamed. Which they could well have been - I can't entirely recall... I myself do not drink as a rule. Only as a habit. The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons, places, buildings, organisations and products is intended or should be inferred. Hehe.
Lyrics
Stumbling out from some literary function Suffering effects of the session's consumption Of course, one expects some refreshing libation But we've gargled enough stuff to drown half the nation. When the sole sober intern, still fresh from induction, Dismayed by the lamentable lack of production, Remarked that I don't achieve much after luncheon I'm like, sorry kid, I'm just too drunk to function. When I Briefly Encountered a Fatal Attraction Pretty sure she was up for some covert action What we had planned needed little deduction So we settled in for a little mutual seduction A couple of drinks just to loose inhibitions Then just a few more helped accomplish the mission But I had to cry off at the critical junction With "I'm sorry, babe, I'm just too drunk to function" An evening with friends, like all affairs of the drunken, Quickly descends into swearin' and punchin' When an officer came to break up the ruction, All my excuses still under construction, I could see in his face he'd have little compunction Explaining his case with a lick of his truncheon So I hiccuped my plea with some pitiful unction: "I'm sorry, Constable, I'm just too drunk to function. Look, surely there's been some misunderstanding..."
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Comments 9
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The Footnotes
Jul 16, 2017
Haha, had me laughing out loud at the end. Wonderful work to make the band sound like they're a bit drunk too. Great lyrics and rhymes. Very British and every so slightly squiffy.
Ken Sacco
Jun 16, 2016
lol funny song
Gone4
Jun 12, 2016
you sound great drunk as well as sober!..I knew you would do well with this theme challenge :-)
FusionFall Project
Jun 02, 2016
Perfect! been there done that ;) Love the breaks!!
Alan L Cole
May 28, 2016
Awesome track and production. Love that guitar work and Steve, those vocals are as always, awesome - you've got a great voice IMHO! And that horn is great!
Dollar Bill and the Unmentionables
May 23, 2016
The band holds it together frightfully well considering the condition their condition is in. A new soundtrack for those lost weekends. :D
Michael Bennett
May 22, 2016
Wow - what a fantastic sounding track even if the band is trashed ;) Very creative songwriting and the horn works well for the theme of the challenge.
Carlo D'Anna
May 21, 2016
A good rocker and quite amusing!! Very cool one. A classic. A drunkards dream if I ever did hear one.
Rodrica Rudge
May 21, 2016
Lol, yeah you've somehow managed to capture the vibe/sound of a band that's had a few too many :D Great lyrics and performance...paints some great pictures, lol. Love the ending and those ad libs :D