Not so much a band as a bloke with a guitar and a laptop, The Smivets deliver a genre-bending blend of pop, rock, punk, prog and many other monosyllables.
Here's just a few quotes from their many devotees:
BS: "Turn it off now it's bedtime"
GS: "Dad, that's crap"
Poor singing, bad production, bad teeth, but you know what? I like it!
No history - I start now.
We will not speak of those things here
Beatles, Genesis, Clash, Abba, Pixies, Foo Fighters, Rancid, Wildhearts
Marshall combos, Fender Tele, Gordon Smith GS2, Cubase.
I have always written songs.
When I say songs, what I really mean is the music for songs - chord sequences, tunes, melodies, choruses - all the ingredients for a song except for one, vital part. The damn lyrics. Every song seemed to follow the same path - got the chords, got the hook, even the guitar solo whatever, all I need now is the words ... and there it stopped. I had loads of them - songs that all went "la la la" or "do do do" or, even worse, a set of verses written in the pub at the end of the night that really should have stayed on the beermat. Songs without words, and, let's face it, a song without something to sing isn't actually a song at all. It's an instrumental. Something that requires a drum solo. Or a bass solo.
But then, last year, the clouds suddenly seemed to part and I made a miraculous discovery.
For those of you who struggle to write lyrics I can offer this simple remedy:
GET A DOG.
Not, I hasten to add, that I have found some way to force the poor creature to write the words for me (although, if you have read some of mine, you may be forgiven for thinking this), but there's some magic about taking the thing for a walk that seems to bring words tumbling into your head.
Maybe it's the quiet of the park, maybe it's the rhythm of walking or the absence of other distractions. Maybe it's just that you can sing and mumble to yourself without frightening too many people, but, time and time again, whenever I've been stuck for a line or a rhyme or even the "seed" of a song, I just take the dog out and the words come.
So that's why I've called my next collection Dog Poetry, and I hope you like it.
The dog by the way is called Sid.
Sid thinks it's great.
The Smivets are supposed to sound like my favourite radio station - like every track is by a different band in a different style but all hopefully with a bit of quality to them. I also like the idea of the 16 line novel - if a picture paints a thousand words a song should sing you the whole book.
Does it work? Let me know what you think.