Name: ...You Might Be A Roughneck
Channel: Brandon Davis
Description: This is for all my homies in the oil patch! It's kinda parody of the old Jeff Foxworthy, You Might Be A Redneck If... stuff, but for rig pigs. For those of you who don't know the difference between the 2, Roughnecks are like Rednecks only tougher

...You Might Be A Roughneck

B! Davis Presents... Bad Boys Break Down Too

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This is for all my homies in the oil patch! It's kinda parody of the old Jeff Foxworthy, You Might Be A Redneck If... stuff, but for rig pigs. For those of you who don't know the difference between the 2, Roughnecks are like Rednecks only tougher

worm redneck brandon field patch oil driller bakken roughneck

B! Davis Presents... Bad Boys Break Down Too

B! Davis Presents... Bad Boys Break Down Too! Kick Ass Anthems To Get Fucked Up And Cry To On A Friday or Stay Home, Stoned, Just Remembering on a Tuesday

I'm B! Davis! Let me tell ya a story... Several years ago, it occurred to me that I had run right outta ways to say fuck. Boy, I've screamed it, I've cried it. I've meant it, I've denied it. I've sexted it. I've spelled it in my Alpha-Bits cereal. I've spelled it in the snow with my piss. Well, one day I figured how to play a C and a D on a busted ass 6 string that had, not only followed me around my whole life, but also somehow managed to keep up. The next day, somebody taught me how to cheat on the G chord and I've been singing fucking songs ever since! Sometimes people will try to ignore you while you're trying to give a well deserved fuck. But, I'll tell you what.. You breakout a git and burst into fucking song... Mother fuckers start listening. Please do, by all means, post feedback, comments, complaints, compliments, questions, snide remarks, and/or any bitching you might have to get out of the way, on my page! Would love to hear from ya!

Song Info

Genre

Podcasts • Parody

Charts

#599 today Peak #14

#62 in subgenre Peak #3

Author

Brandon Davis

Rights

2014

Uploaded

December 04, 2014

Track Files

MP3

MP3 3.8 MB • 160 kbps • 3:19

Story behind the song

I've lived this life for many years and surrounded myself with all the fools who make these "jokes" true.  Whether you're Rockin' the Bakken, Trippin' Pipe In PA, Doing shit the hard way in the Michigan's Antrim Gas Fields, or just Slackin' off in Texas... If you're livin' the life, then you'll get this song!  Check out my song, "Hey Derrickman!", as well!

Lyrics

if you've ever woke up in the backseat of an extremely dirty ford escort, at 4am, with a really bad hangover, next to the biggest, dirtiest man you've ever woke up next to in the back of a ford escort.  And this man is convinced that you work for him now... And he is yelling at you.  You might be a roughneck.

If you make $99,000/year... and you're still broke... you might be a roughneck.

If you often go out drinking until its time to put your work clothes on... You might be a roughneck.

if your drivers license is suspended or revoked, if you are currently on probation or have been recently paroled, if you are hungover from last night and/or still drunk from this morning... you might be a roughneck.

If you've ever been so hungover that you shit the back seat of your boss's truck on the way to work, and then shit it again on the way to the bar after work... You might be a roughneck. 

if the little voice in your head has quit your job 4 times this week, but as of Tuesday afternoon, from the neck down you are still working for the same ornery prick... you might be a roughneck

If three of the last ten words out of your mouth were any combination or variation of shit, fuck, bitch, cunt, bastard, goddamn, pussy, beer or squirrel dick, or at least several of them were yelled angrily at an inanimate object... You might be a roughneck 

If you've ever gotten so drunk that you paid $35.99 for a copy of your own criminal background check, looking for clues as to where in  the hell you left your car last night... You might be a roughneck 

If you ever gotten so drunk, that, for nostalgia purposes, you bought another copy of your criminal background check and found out that you actually have 3 DUI's, when all this time you've only been bragging about the 2. 

If its Friday night and you have $73.42 to get you through until payday on thursday, and you spend $73.42 at the bar by 9 o clock Friday night... you might be a roughneck

If youve ever drank until you passed out, then worked a 16 hour shift with your 3 employees, your boss, your boss's boss, 17 Halliburton guys, and a water truck driver...  and it wasn't until you got home at 9 o clock at night, that you looked in a mirror and noticed... the giant fucking penis... that's been scrawled across your goddamn forehead... ALL... DAMN... DAY!!!  You might be a roughneck. 

If you can't count your fingers because you don't remember how to reduce fractions... You might be a roughneck. 

If you've ever based important career choices, soley on the fact that you are currently getting yelled at... You might be a roughneck

If you've ever been searching for your drivers license and suddenly remember that you haven't had one since 1998... You might be a roughneck. 

If your wife fucks your neighbor and that very same neighbor runs over your dog with his Toyota Prius and that very same day you go to work and a tool hand shows up with donuts, and a whole pile of stickers, and schlumberger hat.  And despite all the dead dogs and wife fuckin goin on, you still consider it a "pretty goddamn good day"...  (Even though you're not the one who got the coffee cup...) You might be a roughneck. 

If your wage is the equivalent of four salaries, but coincidentally you went to college for four different careers and are none of them... You might be a roughneck.

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