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Lyrics
[verse 1]
never made it to the clouds, they sent me to hell
lookin back i kinda wish they'da put me in jail
maybe if i'da sat in a cell, i'd think twice
let my words speak louder, cuz my actions, they yelled
the crimes i committed, i did to myself
bars around my thoughts, i built 'em myself
welcome to my nightmare, palace of pain
moat around the castle but it's not what you think
aint to keep nobody out, that's to lock me in,
to my chagrin, boxed in with thoughts of sin
now lotsa men would probably give in, i never did
i could thank my momma for that, but i never will
cuz she was never there, a spot never filled
nevertheless, i cared, but now i never feel
heart turned cold, built of steel
so i'd turncoat anybody just to get a pill
hope to get accepted, lookin' for appeal (but)
cost of livin way to high to fit the bill
nobody understands how i feel
when i compare life to an overtime game in the nfl
when ya start and finish, score still the same
whole things decided by at coin flip at center field
try to open their eyes so we can see the same
bribed 'em wit a centerfold, they don't wanna change the page
... they just see a beautiful picture
i'm stuck in this spot, ain't a suitable fixture!
my friends turned foes, i refuse to forgive 'em
so i block out the pain i don't choose to remember
the thoughts in my brain all allude to the winter
darkness and rain, thats included with shivers
life like a game, losers and winners
but you're born then you die so it feels like a tie
still regret's in my eyes, since i realize
everybody got a position, i ain't fulfill mine
my team paid the cost cuz i crossed the line
those charges, so heartless, my response is
dope sparkin', ride high, no harness
my life, broke artist, jj, good times
good bye, see you on the other side of karma
hope to be reincarnated with some honor
offer farewells, see u never agains
and advice on this page of my pad with a pen
take a good look around ya circle of friends
i guarantee you're prolly in the same position they're in
look into the mirror, examine how you're livin
if you see your goals slippin, high target, keep missin'
your choice, your decision, the fast life don't slow
but you'll grow old and you cant go the distance
see any stresses you dealt with i felt it
and kept it in captive until it turned septic
but dammit that's life, don't forget to count blessins
and don't take offense, take the lesson
[Peacefully sleeping, resting at last
His weary trials and troubles past
In silence he suffered, in patience he bore,
Til' God called him home, to suffer no more]
look in my eyes, say hi to my enemy
life on the edge, disguisin' my misery
took me to die to realize what it did to me, i
give you my life, in my loving memory