Been too long since my last post, so sorry! This past Tuesday I attended a prayer service at my husband's church, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, which is a Melkite Catholic Church, celebrating the Eastern Rite. This service was known as the Holy Unction or Holy Oil. It was in commemoration of Mary Magdalene and how she anointed the head of Jesus with expensive perfumed oil. The service is beautiful with many prayers and scripture readings, and ends with the each participant receiving the Holy Oil upon their foreheads and hands. The oil is for physical and emotional healing. I admit that I went to placate my husband. My prayer life has been dry as toast for the last several months (mainly because I haven't yet figured out how to pray and maintain a busy schedule - the busyness tends to win out!) and when it is dry, the last place I want to be is at a service where a lot of long prayers are read. But I went anyway and despite my hard heart and lousy attitude, God chose to bless me. I had brought a book with me to read while I waited for the service. Rich needed to get there early as he is a deacon in training and serves at all the services and liturgies. I started a book called "Simplicity" by John Michael Talbot. Something I am sorely looking for in my life! The first chapter was on the true nature of humility. I wasn't able to get too far into it but it was enough to set the stage. The service began and when I saw how many pages there were in the prayer booklet, I groaned. I couldn't imagine getting through this without nodding off. Still, God blessed me. After several pages, the rhythm of the prayers and the smell of the incense began to take effect. I felt myself getting into the rhythm and feeling a sense of peace. During one of the gospel readings, I suddenly took note of the incense rising to the ceiling, as if to God, in prayer, and I thought of that psalm (don't know which one) which says (paraphrased), "Let my prayer rise to You like incense, oh Lord." I then began to look at the altar and thought about how beautiful it was with the many icons and the lit candles. By the time we were to receive the Holy Oil, my heart had been greatly softened. I received the oil and meditated for several moments on it. I let my finger feel the oil on my forehead and hands. I smelled its sweet scent. I didn't think of anything in particular, just that I felt at peace and felt the presence of the Lord deep inside me. Afterwards I realized what the Lord was gently teaching me. One aspect of true humility is that you recognize and submit to something greater than yourself. In this case, I was submitting not only to God, but to the wisdom of those who had written the prayers. I allowed myself to get into the prayers written so many years ago and because of that submission, God granted me His sweet consolation, something I have not felt in such a long time. I had read a paper that Rich wrote for his bishop the day before which spoke about this. Rich was supposed to reflect upon his prayer life over the past year since he had started reciting the Divine Office. In the paper he wrote how at first he resisted because he didn't want to give up his need to be creative in his prayer. He felt that reciting the prayers of others would not be meaningful. But he submitted and recited the Divine Office and has been greatly blessed as a result from those prayers, including a very deep appreciation of the psalms which are heavily used in the Divine Office. A seed was planted when I read that paper and it came to fruition the next day at the Holy Unction service. During the service I had asked God for healing from anxiety. He showed me how I could obtain that healing. By practicing humility and submitting myself to something greater than myself, I could be freed from my anxiety. Now the task lies before me to obey that call. And I will, with joy.
