We are the Quontoot Offsemble. We have made many tracks in the snow, and placed many mysterious buckyballs on the surfaces of the stars in Virgo. We have exceeded the bandwidth of humanity and written the wishes of Mithra upon the bathroom stalls of the universe. Beware, Be Aware, Be Where. You dig?
A Brief Histortion of the Quontoot Offsemble
by Our Supreme Leader
We were there when Migradas of Ur remonstrated the Molodites of what is now Jordan to cessate their incursions. We were there when President Mbulu repatriated the British interlopers with the outrageous spears of instruction, way before the Zulu war. We were there when the electric pencil was invented, and also when people finally realized it was a stupid idea.
But mostly we were there when Diz found the ground around the sound, the sound between the sound, when Bird took the line and pulled it all apart like a cat with a ball of string, batted it all over the place, and then, while he was strung out, strung it all out all over Minton's and the Five Spot, blowing everybody's minds.
We were there, man, and we're still tryin' to figure out how the hell they did that. If you really want to know the story, it's right there in the tunes.
We are the house band at Miggleton's Ratcella in Pississippiville, BO. The best, most specialest moment ever, was like, this cat, he said we sounded like electrified toilet water, and then he passed out with his nose in his Jack and Coke. We took a bunch of pictures of that, man.
Miles, Thelonious, Bill Frisell, Dave Holland, Thad Jones, Joshua Redman, Michael Brecker, Steely Dan
I use them strips to keep you from snoring, and Billy here likes to use that electric can opener, and Otis says he wants me to mention that he likes cheese (although that ain't really equipment, Otis, come on, man!). Our Supreme Leader is the one that hooks up all that musical gear and gets this thing on, man. He pops that stuff up on that TV screen, and start to typing away, moving that mice around, and real pretty sounds start to come out of there. I watch him a lot, man, and I still don't know how he does that.