Weapons Of Mass Destruction
Honky tonk country, homage to Tom T. Hall, Charlie Rich and all the rest. We finally found the WMDs: This chick's got 'em, hidden in plain sight, in the vicinity of that tank top. And she ain't afraid to use 'em.
Brand new old songs of the '30s, '40s, '50s and '60s.
Lyrics
Sure I’ve heard of biological warfare…
I never knew what they were talking about
‘Til I walked in that bar and saw her fingerin’ a long neck.
Oh Lordy, now there ain’t no doubt….
She’s got weapons of mass destruction,
Right up front for all the world to see,
Weapons of mass destruction
Destroy another country boy…like me.
She’s like you take Martina and you take Shania
And you take Leann and then you add Faith Hill,
And you stuff ‘em all together in a teeny-tiny tank top—
O Bro, you ain’t got no will
Against those weapons of mass destruction,
She’s sittin’ on a bunker full—a fool can see,
Weapons of mass destruction
Destroy another country boy…like me.
When she talks it’s like a choir of angels
In a honky tonk in Heaven singing rhythm and blues.
When she walks she’s got those long, long legs,
All the way from Heaven to her Jimmy Choos.
She blows the siren, she rings the bell,
She's got the power, and she knows darn well,
She's got the magic, and I’m under the spell,
I say Careful Boy! Careful Boy!…Oh, what the hell…
She asked for a dance, and I went into a trance,
And I couldn’t feel nothin’ that was north of my pants.
And when I seen her oozing in her skin-tight skirt,
My homeland defenses went on red alert.
She’s got weapons of mass destruction,
Somebody better call the FBI.
Weapons of mass destruction
Destroy another country boy...such as I.
She’s got a way of moving her body like her back ain’t got no bone.
She’s got a way of moving your soul like your soul is not your own.
She can make a preacher man forsake his vows,
She can make my uncle Verl forsake his cows,
She can make a homeboy forsake his home,
She can make Osama gnaw an old hambone.
She’ll let you buy her a drink, and she’ll let you think
Things a decent country boy oughtn’t to think.
Then you’ll wake up broke, and needing a smoke
At the Circle K with your head in the sink.
She’s got weapons of mass destruction,
Who will the next poor victim be?
Weapons of mass destruction
Destroy another country boy…like me.
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