Dhaka-dice
This is not as much a side-project to Fungus (since Fungus IS pretty much my solo project anyway)
as it is sort of a test tube where I try out my ideas to see what they sound like with full instrumentation.
Most of these songs are written for Fungus and will be played live and maybe even recorded in a real studio some time in the future, so a lot of the songs are really "Fungus" songs that are complete even before the other members have even heard them.
You could say they are to demo recordings what regular demo recordings are to professional studio recordings.
I also use the pseudonym "Dhaka-dice" when making hip-hop beats. But I'm not sure I can upload all my beats, as some of them contain samples that haven't been altered enough for me to be able to call them my own.
Anyways, if you're curios about what I'm doing, feel free to listen.
Story behind the song
This song is something of a Frankenstein's monster.
I've been collecting parts for this song for years I think.
It started out with the chromatic melody/scale the guitar is playing once the song kicks in with drums and everything.
Then came the bassline and then the other guitar part, then came the chorus and after I came up with the idea of chopping up the main riff into a 3/4 beat, I started to find a structure I was happy with. As usual, the lyrics came last.
I had been in a relationship for a long time.
It had been my longest relationship ever,
and also the one I was least satisfied with.
There were lots of things that bugged me,
and the girl had so many issues.
I don't even know where she got them from.
She had had a pretty decent upbringing.
Loving parents, never been molested, never got beaten up, had never been dumped by a guy.
I must say I envied her because she had gotten so much that I had not.
But I also despised her in a way,
because I thought she was spoiled and had the nerve to complain about everything.
I could have written a whole book about that relationship but I didn't. Instead I write a song where I wented the frustration over the fact that I felt I couldn't leave her, plus I had feelings for her...Or maybe I was just fooling myself because I felt obligated to stay with her because she had been so nice to me, plus she was the the first girlfriend who had ever loved me.
And on top of that, I knew she wouldn't make it on her own because even after a year or so, she could barely do normal stuff that my other girlfriends had been able to do even from the start.
This was very frustrating.
I couldn't stand my girlfriend, I couldn't leave her and I was jealous of virtually everyone who had something that even resembled a normal relationship with a girl who was anything close to normal.
I even let her hear this song and she understood that it was about her.
But on the other hand, she thought songs I wrote years before I met her was about her too, just because I had recorded them recently.
Anyway, the relationship is over but the song remains and after all the work I've put into both assembling parts for the music and living through what ended up as the lyrics, I must say I'm proud of this song. It was worth all those years, just to get this song finished.
Lyrics
Can't stand another day with
you i'm gonna suffocate gotta
let air out to breathe in
or you'll be doing me in with your
self pity no self respect
heat and passion you neglect
this I can't accept
I'm about to hit the button and eject
You're dragging me down
I can't stand you anymore
but I just can't seem to
ever stop loving you
Is this some kind of test?
You're oozing nothingness
I'm tired of settling for less
I can't help you if you won't help yourself but
I'm not allowed to leave
I'll have stick around until I start to
scream, while no one sees a thing
there's no way out, it's like a bad dream
You're dragging me down
I can't stand you anymore
but I just can't seem to
ever stop loving you
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