This inspiring Christmas rock anthem reveals the real reason the United States went to war with the North Pole. There were no toys of mass destruction: it was all about oil!
A pop band with original satirical Christmas songs. Comic relief for the holiday season!
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Lyrics
Dubya and Cheney were absolutely zany
With desire to find more oil
They'd drilled in the seas and they'd drilled in the parks
'Til there was no place left to spoil
Then the science guy told them to head where it's cold
And he showed them on the White House's big map
"All the way at the top there's an unexplored site
With millions and billions and zillions of barrels to tap."
Secure the Pole
And start to drill
If we don't get the oil
Then someone else will
Santa listed the naughty, and he listed the nice,
And he tallied what each kid deserves
But Santa didn't know what was under the snow;
That he sat on huge oil reserves
The Prez made his case - "There is no time to waste.
They've got great big filthy gobs of oil, and we need 'em.
Elves who make toys are a menace to all,
And those reindeer extremists hate us for our freedom."
Secure the Pole
And start to drill
If we don't take the oil
Then the terrorists will
Meanwhile, at the pole, things were starting to roll
And Santa was loading the sleigh
As he harnessed up Rudolph he was still unaware
Of the force that was coming his way
The elves in the shop saw the radar screen pop
Then the radio broadcast this warning:
"Lay down your toys and surrender at once,
Or we'll flatten the Pole by Christmas morning!"
"On Ashcroft, on Cheney, on Rumsfeld and Rice
We'll impose democracy on the snow and the ice!
To the top of the world, to the top of the globe,
Soon we'll have more oil than those guys in the robes!"
Back in the US, news of the mess
Appeared on every station
Santa appeared with an eight-day old beard;
No more menace to civilization
With the oil fields alight, late that Christmas night
One curious scientific fact was derived:
The temperature at which Christmas burns
Is precisely Fahrenheit 1225
Secure the Pole
And start to drill
If we don't grab that oil
Then our enemies will
Secure the Pole
And start to drill
If we don't seize the oil
Then Santa Claus will
Secure the Pole
And start to drill
If we don't claim the oil
Then Saint Nicholas will
Secure the Pole
And start to drill
If we don't nab the oil
Then Michael Moore will
