The beat of this song was completed in early 2004, but it wasn't till november that my part was recorded. Then Infinitlee hopped in and completed it around Febuary 2005. Inspired by many things - my masterpiece, so far.
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Lyrics
Verse 1:
TozZ
When I was first born, I followed my heart/
I laughed when I was happy, and I cried when I starved// 1
100% of me would actually be me/
but as time passes, the numbers gradually decrease// 2
the society takes me away as it puts weights on my shoulders/
my original behaviours are then slowly taken over// 3
and eroded, as I'm fittin in with my community/
changed myself from the person that I once used to be// 4
I was told that real men wouldnt shed any tears/
so I was ashamed that I still cried once every year// 5
so now I changed, can't remember that last time I cried/
cuz I know guys can never show their sensitive side// 6
cuz that's bein a pussy, a gay or a faggot/
even though sometimes it's the only way to get past this// 7
misery, lettin tears drop out like rain, and proudly/
change the status quo, and cry my pains out loudly//
HOOK:
Tozz
Now after all this time I'm still learning to cry/
cuz I've forgotten what to do, when I'm burning inside//
I was told to act like a man who owns the whole world/
but deep down inside I'm just a lonely little girl//
Verse 2:
TozZ
yo I've seen many people who act like they are tough-shit/
"hey I'm mr. macho, and I ain't nothin to be fucked with"// 1
cuz they are confident, so they have to fight furiously/
but curiously, isn't aggression a sign of insecurity?// 2
Everybody experience the same type of feelings/
we've all had times when our bodies were reeling// 3
from the pains that we get when our asses get laughed at/
but if you're a man you gotta swallow your tears backwards// 4
so gradually, I developed an inner ego/
a girl that took the pain, but I wouldn't show people// 5
I let it worsen, so my pains would desist/
so now I'm the only person that knows she exists// 6
Eventually, she became more adorned/
but she never understood the reason why she was born// 7
I'm torn between personalities/
Searchin for my mentality to face the realities, and// 8
Verse3:
Infinitlee
It’s time to grab the mic, wake up, fix the mic stand
Man, Now I understand , a real man needs a plan
I looked cold outside, not gonna swallow ma pride
But I feel lonely inside, so I sat down and cry
I pray for better day, hope da stress will go away,
No matter wut day say, im still gonna do ma way
Can someone tell me why? Diz bitch I gotta face
Im hurtin burning inside, fuck em all I gotta say
Dawg, can ya help me out, I cant take it anymore
Who ever felt alone, Diz dedicated to yall
Straight after the dark nite , the sun will shine again
Juz keep ur head up, Never give up and try again
My friend, im still learin how to cry, but why
They say a man don’t cry, if it’s true den ill try
Not to cry, but I cant, so I guess im juz a lonely lil gurl.
Feel ma pain
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