The Massacre

A 3-piece punk rock band from Napanee Ontario. We play a blend of old style punk rock with poppy riffs and a touch of speed.

Here is the story of the band known as The Massacre came to be. I Have A Dollar:It all started one faithful afternoon in te tenth grade when Brandon Kimmett and a good pal Brach Mohan wanted some action from the hunnies (you know sexy ladies). They first needed a cool band name they could tell the hunnies they were part of. It came to them in a career studies class, while making silly signs when Brandon(or the fags nate fag, I can't remember) wrote on a sign "I Have A Dollar" So Brach and Brandon said lets start a band with that name. Brandon quickly called dibs on playing bass which left Brach at the reigns of singing (I guess we both forgot there is also guitar and drums in a band). Brach said his neighbour and longtime friend/rugby player Justin Dafoe (now the drummer for my brilliant theory!) knew how to slap the skins. Brandon thought to himself that all teenage boys could do that, then Brach mentioned drums and it all clicked in his mind. All that was left was a guitarist which came in the form of metal head/pot head Conor Moore. See the thing about conor was he always wore the same shirts. He had a Metallica one, an Ozzy Osbourne one, A Misfits one, and one that said "psycho ward out patient". Another thing is that Conor only had the Misfits shirt cause it looked cool, he had actually never heard them. So Back to the man part of the story, the getting hunnies part. See what the fellas decided to do was advertise their band by asking girls if brandon could write it on there stomach. Who would have thought it would be a success? Because so many girls had "I Have a Dollar" written on their stomachs, the guys felt obligated to actually play music. So we played together for the first time, and Justin almost killed Conor with a drumstick. Because it is punk rock to have 2 guitars, a Danny (insert last name here) was interviewed. He could not however play the songs they were so was thrown back to where he came from (new hampshire). So they played some songs and had a few shos and again felt the need for two guitars so Evan Wise came into the little posse. See the problem was that around the same time Justin had started a Blink 182 cover band called 182 reasons to blink(later became A Lesser Known Response) with Junior and justins cousin. Justins parents told him he could only be in one band so justin picked A Lesser Known Response because they were more along his tastelines (is that a word?). Luckily Conor had made friends with a punk rocker who played drums for a band called My Brilliant Theory (or they might have been 5th Aid I again cannot remember) His name Was Adam King. At the same time the boys felt that Brach should be finished in the band I Have A Dollar. When given the news, Brach kicked conor and ran away. He took with him the Name I Have a Dollar and the originals the band had done. Well let me tell you the band I have a dollar covered Short Songs by the Dead Kennedys, Brohymn by Pennywise, Teenage Lobotomy by the Ramones (Oddly enough they played at every show they ever had), I turned into a Martian by the Misfits, Wild Thing by the Troggs, and Probably some others. They wrote The Elephant Song, The Girl for Me (it was kinda emo), Candy Cane Death, and again probably some others. North To Nowhere: With Brach gone the plan was to bring in long time buddy Nathan Luffman(formerly of the Fags) to yell stuff at the audience. The name came from a classic rock band Nathan, Brandon and Conor were going to start but never did. This band basically had like two practices, where they played covers of songs that I Have A Dollar had done. Then they realized Adam was too good for them so they stopped havinhg practices but never really broke up. Gabba Gabba and the Heys/the simpletons/the simpletins/the Plague/probably some other names: This was the same ole fellows up to their same ole tricks. GGH played one show which was a coffee house, it was conor, brandon and nathan playing ramones and misfits. It then turned out that evan would play the other guitar, no one really sang cause nate was on the drums. On of the first practices the newly named simpletons played, this weird kid named Chris Oldfield came to, and started tapping his legs with drum sticks to the songs the others were playing. It took a while for everyone to realize that chris a.k.a chris could maybe play drums. The fellows then had chris on the drums and nate back yelling German catch phrases. After they had played a few small shows, the fellows found out that there was another band called the simpletons and provoked by a practicle joke by chris and evan the name was changed to the simpletins. The funny thing about the practises these guys had were that the same things tended to happen. First they would practise very little, nathan would always bring and eat sidekicks, a lot of movies would be watched and conor would fall asleep at like 8 leaving him open for practical jokes. Time came around for most of the simpletins to join lets make a demo and record a cd throughout the year. What happened though was that the name the simpletins was stupid and changed to the plague, also nathan, chris and evan started another band called New Age Mafia. Nate and Evan liked to play ska in that band and were focusing on it a bit more. Also Brandon had become vegetarian which is stupid? Anywho, Conor and Brandon Talked to chris and the plague broke up into NAM and a soon to be named band, and of course everyone was on great terms. The Plague covered, Teenage Lobotomy and Pet Semetary by the Ramones, I turned into a Martian by the Misfits, Dead American by Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards, and more. They also wrote Happy, Drunken Sailor(the bands own works), and others. Hammer and Sickle/The United: Conor Chris and Brandon went political, they wrote 4 originals and were gaining some momentum as they slowly recorded. A problem then occured, Chris being in three bands seemed like he was having a hard time with all the obligations, also oddly enough the old flame adam king wanted to join the band. With Adam having some musical know how, he tought Brandon and Conor a thing or two about keeping time and the band soon came together, playing its first show, a battle of the bands where they came 2nd last. The Band all soon became straight edge vegans and they went back to the cutting bored and worked hard. They released United States of terror and continued writing originals. Some of these originals happened to be good, it was obvious the band was improving. They were interviewed on KCVI radio, and with their improvement came a second cd, A Lesson in Dissent and talks of touring with soon materialized with the bands first and only mini tour. After a 3rd place victory, and huge cd sales the band went on a 4 day stint full of shows. At the end of it, Brandon had SARS, they had played a show to only 1 person, they had slept in a van and were short $10. The band went into a kind of depression not practicing much and leaving talk of any tours far away. Also around the time adam had talks of another band, and was showing little interest in playing drums. They did however play they best show ever after all that, at the Napanee Legion to a select few people with no pressure, the band rocked like they never had before, and brought out of retirement Save a Life to a Delighted crowd. Brandon felt drained and because politics are boring and satan told him too, he quit the band on good terms and the united ended. The united covered Dig up Her Bones by the Misfits, Murder the Government by NoFX, It's Quite Alright by Rancid, Guilty By Association by H20, probably others and wrote SAve A Life, Hero, United States of Terror, Do I make a Difference, Suburbs to Subway Terminals, Pain Steak and Eggony, Capitalist Rule, Call to Arms, A Lesson in Dissent, Equality Thesis, 20 Ways and other songs. OH YEAH I FORGOT Dead Baby: This was during the united time, Conor was talking to this guy known as Mark Birkstead(He Played Bass for My Brilliant Theory, and played for drums The Fags). The thing about mark is he has big side burns. more like sideburn. it is like the abe lincoln beard. Well anyway, the three played misfits with brandon on the drums, mark doing bass and gargles and conor playing guitar. They had a few practices and never played a show. They played Halloween, I turned into a Martian, Skulls, Ghouls Night Out, and some other songs by the misfits. The Massacre: They sprung out of the wood work, and are inspired by Horror Movies and the Ramones, we started out as a goodtime ramones cover band that brandon started after the united went down the toilet. Conor was obviously on board and chris from way back when(about six months) hopped on the skins again. they played a single show to a delighted crowd but a reoccuring problem named caroline was there. Conors girlfriend always would dissappear before they were supposed to go on and conor would too so there was a close call..Caroline actually thought that monkeys were poisonous and didn't know cuba was an island..during pillow talk...err i mean.. Mark from dead baby mentioned he loved the ramones and would like to play second guitar. Brandon agreed while putting his clothes back on..Conor and chris were always not available so brandon and mark got jesse (from the fags) to play drums...it was then quickly decided he couldn't actually play drums so Mark started..They jammed a couple times and Nathan got kicked out of the fags(for going straight) so they decided to become lovers...I mean a "band". Brandon learned some queers covers and a couple fags originals and they were on track. They learned a few more originals and recorded a demo in marks basement..They quickly got a few shows with bands the code (a-f records) and the gamblers (stomp) and got even more poppier. As of late they have just finished up a cd and arelooking to tour throughout ontario if possible.. Longest thing ever I just spent several hours writing this but

We definitely play live, everywhere and anywhere.

The Ramones, Screeching Weasel, The Queers, The Riverdales, The Lillingtons, The Vapids.