the bridge of sighs

Pop and Circumstance:On the trail of the the bridge of sighs by Brian Nordstrom Walking into the Lamb and Lettuce late on a Friday night can be a daunting prospect. Emerging suddenly from the chill of autumn into the red walls and dim smoky haze of a late 70s workingmens club, you immediatly feel the stares of locals not used to the sudden entrance of strangers. Unbuttoning your coat, you order a gin and tonic, sipping uncomfortably and trying to ignore the unshaven drunk idly bashing out a medley of Peter, Paul and Marys Well, Well, Well and Stravinskis Rite of Spring on the out of tune upright piano in the corner of the bar. Here in the gloomy company of twenty or so regulars permanently camped in corner of the bar, you find its an unlikely place to find a pop star. You check your watch. Finally, after 45 minutes you wonder whether youve mistaken the meeting place, and decide to leave. As you head to the door, all of a sudden the drunk in the corner looks up - Hello Brian. I expect youve come for the interview. Ladies and Gentlemen, Attila Borobudur. When the Bridge of Sighs announced their Bridge Too Far tour four years ago, none could have predicted the madness - and tragedy - that would follow. For Attila Borubudur and Dr Doria Dandolow, it had been a rolling series of pop aftershocks as their singles Im Just Waiting (for you to sing) and ((Can It) Be)) (The Other Way)? competed week after week for the top spot in the nations charts. Sold-out theatres played hosts to hordes of screaming teenagers thronging the exit doors of venues round the country. In scenes reminiscent of the great 60s British pop invasion the Bridge of Sighs were mobbed everywhere they went, clothes were ripped, hair was torn, pages from Dandolows 1st edition Schegloffs lay floating in the gutter as the pair ran from limousine to stage. It was madness admits Borabudur. One minute Im at home reading Beaudelaire the next Im having people stealing my compost for souvenirs As the Sighs ascent up the charts fueled a pop frenzy, Borobudur took to some of the great ruses of 60s and 70s pop simply to get into venue. Entering through the tradesmans entrance, arriving by helicopter and dressing in womens clothes (i quite liked that bit admits Borobudur) all became de rigeur. But as the deception increased so did the cunning of the fans. As word spread through the internet of Borabudur and Dandolo turning up to do a spot of plumbing so did pictures of the pop pair dressed incognito, and their cover was blown. Finally, and almost fatally, the Bridge of Sighs management proposed a practical solution that would prove a publicity sensation. The Bridge of Sighs would now enter stadiums by being blown out of a cannon. It was just circumstance really, says Borabudur, ruefully scratching his chin. We just couldnt get into the gig. 60 tour dates later, the Sighs novelty entrance had catapaulted them to even greater popularity as news of their elastic entrances spread. Doria started getting offers from Ringling Brothers says Borobudur, which we actually considered. From there the madness increased, a rumoured 6-figure sponsorship deal created between the Sighs management forcing Borobudur and Dandolo to trail a flag at the height of their arc into the stadium bearing the humiliating slogan Eat Walkers Crisps Finally, the Sighs arrived at their biggest gig yet, Pittsburgh Stadium. After 60 successful cannons, Borobudur and Dandolo were confident their stage show was ready to go. It seemed simple enough to plot the velocity of pop star to cannon to net, yet The Sighs had not reckoned with the American road crew. they were a very good road crew, yknow, its just that the Americans havnt converted to the metric system. Mis-reading the metric calculations as imperial, the two pop stars were vaulted into much higher trajectory than previous I swear I had snow on me, says Borobudur) and clashed heads 40 feet above the net. Ironically it was the one thing that saved their life. If we hadnt, wed be landing in Mexico about now. The resulting concussion left Dandolo in hospital and the Bridge of Sighs unable to complete the tour. Did it hurt? No, not really. Id had a bit of a late one the night before, so I was feeling a bit dazed already. Doria got the most of it. Looking back now, Borobudur seems almost relieved at the chance to get off the pop rollercoaster. Things were gettin mad, man, yknow? I mean, Im an entertainer, not flippin Houdini. And then there were the antics in bars and clubs, the all too public signs of a pop stars personal life going off the rails. Hand-stands mostly, yknow he says, scratching his head. I mean, yknow, there I am, night after night being blown out of a cannon, girls start coming up to me aft