The 3 Kings of Allah

Ummm... we are just 3 idiots making crappy music for your enjoyment... or displeasurement... we like the second one more!!!

3 Kings of Allah is just 3 guys living in a small town with nothing to do at all. We originally formed as The Ugly Town Hero's in 2001. We had a demo tape, which was mostly inaudible and just pathetic to listen to, but our drummer was a douche-whore and decided to stop wanting to play music to pursue his own lame goals. Around that time everyone under the sun wanted to join our band, and no one actually could play, everyone wanted to be the vocalist... which wasn't happening! So eventually Sean (the mastermind behind the band) got fed up and left first, followed by Chris and than we recruited James from former UTH roster as well. At that point we needed a name. So we brainstormed (without James) and decide we wanted to be offensive, but funny as well. So for a while Sean and James were into the whole Islamic thing and Allah was their bloodstained God, so we took that part, but calling our band "Allah" wasn't very funny, so we though of the worst movie we've seen and came up with "The 3 Kings" cause that movie sucked. And from there, the 3 Kings of Allah were born! We started off just doing crappy acoustic songs that spanned for a long time (roughly around 5 minutes) of crap. After a while of just fooling around we all kinda focused and completed our first album in 3 days I believe. Our S/T album (3 Kings of Allah) was a big hit with our town. The S/T album also contained the only 3 good UTH tracks of that original demo, just for good measure. As always there is turmoil in the band. We really had no direction on what we wanted to do so we all started to get bored. After about 8 months of no-promotion besides our one street team member (Jeff, another former member of UTH's) we started work on our next album. Knee-Deep in Shi'ite was by far, or best album out of them all. We had a focus and it sounded good and it was funny. We tried to show who our "heroes" were in music. We pulled from Anal Cunt, Tom Waits, Mr. Bungle and Mikron 64. This album was met with wild reviews and we were back on top, even though we've never played live (and still haven't!). Again alot of down time was to be had. During this down time Chris joined with Alex (another former UTH, but he had past experience and several Brooklyn cover bands) to form "0.C.D." which eventually became WiCCaBaSKeT mainly because O.C.D. was already taken by another NY band, and the "0" was ridiculous to sub for an "O". A Christmas album was devised and created on a whim after gathering our friends and getting our picture taken with Santa in the towns senior center. Alex and Jeff joined us as guest musicians, with Alex playing Keys and Jeff doing nothing but screaming obscenities at the end of a few tracks. We originally called the album X-Mas in Jew-Lie, but all the featured tracks would not be truly released until The Shocker Lp release in February 2005. There was 2 cover songs available on it. Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and an MC Face cover (slaughta ya oughta). X-Mas in Jew-Lie was originally pressed on to mini-disc... but that turned out to be a horrid idea! It did not play on several listening devises so this idea was scrapped, as was 50 mini-disc's of 3KoA material. Also around that time, Feeny came out with a Christmas album, but who knows how that was! Sean and James had a bit of bad blood running between them in December of 2003. From that bad blood, Sean and Chris devised the Ep Thongis Maximus (2004). This would be our last real album together (again James wasn't really present, but Alex made a good sub for most of it!) This album focused around a certain incident and 4 different versions of the title track were created. The Hip-Hop version of Thongis Maximus was our biggest hit of the bunch. It also spawned Hasidic Vampires, About Those Kids..., and The Bunni Ballad. Though short compared to our other albums (40 some-odd minutes), it was another runaway hit with our fan-base and the first 3KoA release to feature electric bass, guitars and a drum machine. This album also had cover art! After that release there was so much animosity that we all needed a break. During this time, 3KoA broke up like 10 times! Chris continued to work with Alex on WiCCaBaSKeT material and released a demo in 2004. Chris as well worked with James and Alex in Beard of the Clown a Jazz-esk band and have enough material to release an album, but due to recording errors it has been withheld. We reunited in the Fall of 2004 to create our next album Calling Out Rich (working title) We had Alex join us again as a guest musician and what we created was just awesome. We worked like a well oiled machine, but due to a malfunctioning recorder a few of the tracks were ruined. We salvaged what we could and tried to press on. We never got to release this album in full and 3KoA went on hiatus... again... In 2005 we released The Shocker Lp a collection of unreleased material and remixes from throughout the years. Shortly after this release, 3KoA imploded, and we were finished. WiCCaBaSKeT released a full album (Bees' of Sodomy) but recently went on hiatus due to external quarrelling. Sean created a new project which was more "heavy metal" influenced and it quickly fell flat due to lack of creativity on his bands part. Sean quickly picked up where originally began and started a solo project called Sp00gan North an instrumental project featuring crazy music by himself. He did record some material, but no one has heard much from it. Chris created his own solo comedy works called C.R.A.P: Captain Rectum of the Ass Pirates which is a blend of Gabber-Industrial sounds with Residents / Primus influenced lyrics and no talent bass playing. The 3 Kings of Allah have reformed (for the time being) and are going to take G.W.L. by storm! AGAIN! With our new found focus and determination (which means we create when we feel like it) we might put together the greatest sounding doom machine this town has EVER heard! Keep your third eye on the look-out! It will be an ending you will never survive to talk about!

Nope! Too many kids nowadays who think we are some kinda joke! Wait... we are... damn!!!

Mr. Bungle, Insane Clown Posse, Tom Waits, Tenacious D, Les Claypool / Primus, Green Jelly, Dog Fashion Disco, Tub Ring, Weird Al Yankovic, The Residents, Faith No More, Mikron 64, (old) Static-X, Anal Cunt, NESkimos, G.W.A.R., Oingo Boingo, Impaled Northern Moonforest, Bloodhound Gang, Ozzy Osbourne, Fantomas, Macabre, Pantera, Fear Factory, The Kids of Widney High, Threebrain, The Melvins, Frank Zappa, The Alter Boys, Precinct 13, Stuck Backwards, Rahzel, MINIBOSSES, Select Start, The Button Mashers, DoKaKa, Video Games, Pornography

Sean - Keyboards / Elec.Guitars / Backing Vox Chris - Main Vox / Elec.Bass / Secondary Keys James - Percussions / Spoken Word Lyrics Jeffery - Additional Vox on "The Shocker Lp" Alexander - Percussions on "Thongis Maximus Ep" Additional Keys and Drums on "The Shocker Lp"

We really don't like you... and we hope you feel the same!