TED
What do you get when you cross an ex-member of SNFU with an ex-member of DOA and mix with a REAL MCKENZIE?
ROCK N FUCKIN' ROLL BABY.
SO GOOD YOU'LL CHOKE ON YOUR OWN DRY MOUTH. Fast like a coke joint, stings like a line of crystal.
This band was too good to last.
Luckily, it's here now for you to enjoy.
LIVE IT UP, FUCKNUTS!
Tell me about your history? How did you get where you are now?
We stole some gear from a pawn shop, stole some riffs from various rock outfits, stole some clothes from a thrift store, stole some booze, ripped off a two-bit drug dealer, and then threatened a local club owner to give us a show, where we ripped off a bunch of microphones and blamed it on the other band. Now people know who we are, and they know not to fuck with us.
Have you performed live in front of an audience? Any special memories?
TED is a wicked live band.
You can bet when we play live, there's a good chance your date is comin' home with us.
Your musical influences
Any fast band with good hooks and extra cigarettes.
What equipment do you use?
We use whatever gear is left unattended.
Unless it's a Fender guitar, then we just smash it, and laugh at the owner.
Anything else?
YOUR BAND SUCKS COMPARED TO US. ALL OF YOU SUCK, AND YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.
DON'T EVEN TRY.
