Sploinky Music UnInc

Um...Hello

Gosh, I hate history...it's always so sad and boring. Let's move on. But if you think you can learn something for me, here it is: A while back, I made some music. It sounded like a rat chewing up a live piano and then squealing in pain as the wires snapped and whipped him across the eyes. People close to me told me to kill myself (in very vague, roundabout ways, mind you). So I quit letting them listen to my "music." Over time, the metaphorical rat got himself a football helmet to protect his eyes. The squeals subsided but never really disappeared. Today, my "music" creation process is an exercise in incidental creativity and post-mortem rationalization. I love music, I love making music, but I may never rid myself of the rat in my piano.

No. Can't. Actually, I try to play piano, but they always tell me to get away from it or make it quieter. How's a guy supposed to learn anything in a world like this?

I have no idea. I like to think that I'm most heavily influenced by the sound of static in my brain, but who knows? It's so hard to figure out why you do what you do. I certainly don't crash guitars. I'd crash a piano, but that's beside the point.

A computer. It's a gray one with little shiny lights and buzzy-whirly fans. It eats CD's and DVD's and its name is Snivles. I also use a mouse and keyboard and monitor and headphones and microwave and refrigerator. The last two being the most important since they're directly involved in keeping me alive. Then there's the toilet and shower and...what? I see all these guys gloating about their Mackie or Cubase or whatever--and they never mention their toilet. What arrogance! You can make music without Mackie or Cubase, but throw your toilet out the window and see just how musically productive you'll be. Seriously, no respect whatsoever!

I also use Madtracker.