njoy
C.O.W. (Creative Older Woman) takes up slammin' with dark humor and biting sarcasm. Not your momma's poetry.
7
top 50
7
songs
4.1K
plays
Jesus, Maria Jesus, Maria
Okay, the parental advisory label may be overstating it, but if pappy is a preacher he could object to this piece. It has a good message, though I never know these things until after I listen to myself.
Slaminals Slaminals
This is for you if you've ever considered becoming a veg head or, especially, if you haven't. Also for the boob who says "I'm a vegetarian but I eat chicken". Like a chicken is a vegetable?
Hippie bi Hippie bi***
Everybody says "wow, great message about the environment". WRONG. It's dissing environmentalists who are a pain in the butt. Not that they aren't right.
Old People - an Intro Old People - an Intro
For all of you who wake up in a cold sweat thinking, "shit, I'm gonna be old" and for those who wake up in a hot flash because it's already happened. There is something weirdly fascinating about watching yourself get wrinkly.
Show all (7)
What I do is slam and stand-up. To hear me, click on the music link.Band/artist history
Why this band thing again? Are there no individual artists on soundclick.com?Have you performed in front of an audience?I make jokes whenever possible. More people, more energy, better jokes. One on one, I'm not funny (okay, I'm a bit scary) but a big crowd laughs when I look at them.
Your musical influences
As mentioned, I'm old. I like Leonard Cohen (he cheers me up because, in some ways, his worldview is much more positive than my own), Chopin and Elvis. My son writes/sings the most god awful so-called music (though popular in some quarters) which I am gradually getting used to. Okay, lie. But he's my boy.
Comedically (is this a word?), I like Bob Newhart, the Smothers Brothers, and that black guy who set himself on fire. No one lately. Well, Seinfeld is okay.What equipment do you use?
Washboard, farts, o.p.'s equipment found in dumpsters. But I'm not a band so what do I know?Anything else?
I hope people over 15 will wander by and enjoy my comedy. People under 15 are welcome too, of course, but I know y'all are busy with age specific concerns like masturbating. Still, you might be surprised to discover that we are not as different as you'd hoped.
Vancouver,
Canada
ID
221705
Contact
Please sign up or log in to contact the artist.
Sign up
Log in
Comments (3)
Yes? What was the 'yes and no' about?
Involves Channeling. Long long story.
This... well.. preface... Hi. My name is Jesus. I have my own 'artist site' here,
as to your question about 'aren't there other individual artists here, yes of course there are. Am I one? Well, yes and no. Incidentally, how did you manage to upload a GIF for this song artwork? So this, was, uploaded in 2004, my that is a while ago. Yet this is the uppermost 'song'? Poem, rather. Yes, I am Jesus Oldman,
www.soundclick.com/jesusoldman
See? It's Me! Yay! Oh, Learn To Love Yourself, I say, go numb waiting for the world to. You are interesting. However, scary also. Soon as the second track rolled around I solidly knew that.
Very scary indeed. And I'm Jesus, I've
been dead, very little throws me off.
I'd say "who are you?" but really, I'm terrified to find out. Cheers! Love, JO
Wow, Evan, thanks for your enthusiasm. It's called slam. Power to you too.
Promoted
Not related to artist
