MARY HAD A LITTLE MAN
COULDN'T KEEP HER SATISFIED
SHE TOOK HIM BY HIS LOVIN' HAND
THEN TOOK HIM FOR A RIDE
BUT CLYDE GOT THE FEELING
SHE WAS DIRTY DOUBLE DEALING
WITH A CARD NAMED ONE-EYED JACK
AND HE FOUND THEM IN A COOL CHEVROLET
YEAH RIGHT THERE IN THE BACK
NOW MARY'S WORKING 9 TO 5
OH MOTHER GOOSE
HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS
JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL
AND FOUND THEIR LIFE A BORE
SO THEY WENT DOWNTOWN TO HAVE SOME FUN
AND KNOCKED OFF A LIQUOR STORE
THE COPS COME A GUNNIN'
AND THEY STARTED RUNNIN'
BUT LORD THEY DIDN'T RUN TOO QUICK
AND WHEN JACK WAS FOUND
THEY BROKE HIS CROWN
WITH A RIGHT FROM A BILLY STICK
NOW JACK'S DOING TIME
AND JILL'S DOING FINE
OH MOTHER GOOSE
HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS
ALL YOUR CHILDREN HAVE GROWN UP
THE MOVED OUT AND MOVED AWAY
YOU TRIED TO RAISE THEM RIGHT I KNOW
BUT LORD HOW DID THEY STRAY
THEY DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' FROM NOTHIN'
AIN'T NOTHIN' GONNA GET 'EM STRAIGHT
YES I JUST THINK ITS MUCH TOO LATE
LITTLE MISS MUFFET WAS SINGING JIMMIE BUFFET
OUT ON THE FRONT PORCH SWING
WHEN A LITTLE BITTY SPIDER
CAME SAT DOWN BESIDE HER
AND SAID GIRL I LIKE THE WAY YOU SING
YOU SOUND KINDA GROOVY
LET ME PUT YOU IN THE MOVIES
AND MAYBE ON MTV
NOW LITTLE MISS MUFFETS
GOT A BAND CALLED TOUGH-IT
AND A HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS A WEEK
AND I'M STILL HERE PAYING MY DUES
OH MOTHER GOOSE
HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS
