Debt Ridden Downs-Jon Hanson
2 minute comedy horse race. From Jon Hanson, author of Good Debt, Bad Debt 9Penguin 2005)
Songwriter lyricist, comedy, political, rock, blues, traditional country, modern country, acoustic, Christian country,
I am a songwriter. The only singing I do is an occasional comedy and of course scratch vocals for talented vocalists.
Story behind the song
Think about your debt and future. The past is the past, unless you still owe for it.
Lyrics
Debt Ridden Downs, I wrote this at the end of 2004 and played it at speeches about my book, Good Debt, Bad Debt (Penguin, 2005) I wrote this piece to reinforce the themes in my book. The Announcer is James Mandell of Voice Over LA.
DEBT RIDDEN DOWNS! 2:10 © 2004 Jon Hanson
script and schedule of sound effects:
Announcer: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen! [Trumpets announcing start] Welcome once again to: DEBT RIDDEN DOWNS! [reverb and echo grandiose announcer effect] Tonight! We have the 75th running of the THE GOLDEN RETIRMENT SWEEPSTAKES. I’m you announcer Johnny Lotta Debt. Tonight’s sponsor for this race is GOOD- DEBT, BAD-DEBT… THE BOOK!, Now the line-up!
Tonight we have;
Big Salary, the odds on favorite…
Look!- at -My CAR! The crowd loves this horse..
Charge It Please.. This horse takes it to the limit!
Also expected to place well are:
Jum-bo Mortgage!
Betty (Bet-He) Saves-a-lot
And about a dozen lesser known horses.
[starting gate, Bells sound effects], and…They’re off! Big Salary jumps out in front, but it looks like Jumbo Mortgage will have something to say about that, Jumbo Mortgage is moving up on Big Salary, Big Salary is holding on, now its Charge-it Please really on the move through the.., oooh [crowd gasps] Charge-It Please crashes and burns! She’s out of it! And It’s still Big Salary but, Consumer Electronics, Eat Out Every Night, and LOOK-at-MY CAR!, are wearing down Big Salary. Going into the clubhouse turn it’s Big Salary, in the lead, but-- being challenged by Low Burn Rate!, Lo-oow Burn Rate! is passing everything in sight! It’s Low Burn Rate past, Kids 2 Soon, I Hate My Job, and WHO Needs College ?! Wait!! Hold the presses!!! Coming up on the rail going into the final turn, it’s Dee-elayed Gratification! Delayed Gratification is over taking Big Salary—BIG Salary can’t shake, Jumbo Mortgage and LOOK at MY CAR!, Now we have three horses, Challenging for the LEAD!, It’s Delayed Gratification, Low Burn Rate AND Perfect Spouse! Wait a minute, Where did Perfect Spouse come from all of a sudden? I guess that one’s been there all the time, un-believ-able! Here’s the finish: WOW!! This Is close: At the wire it’s LOW Burn Rate, Dee-layed GRAT-I-FI-cation and Perfect Spouse! Big Salary falls to fourth. Have you ever seen such a talented horse not even place in the top three? That’s it folks for the Secure Retirement Sweepstakes, Brought to you by your friends at gooddebt.com.
