An absolutely true story of being arrested in Dallas Texas for jaywalking
Acoustic fingerstyle singer-songwriter; kind of a mashup of Leonard Cohen, Nellie McKay, Stuart Davis, Jason Mrasz, with a little Martin Simpson thrown in. Working on my CD, that I hope will be out this Spring: "The Suburban Book of the Dead."
Story behind the song
100 percent true story. I went to a conference in Dallas, stayed up too late, and had a headache the next morning. I went out to find some aspirin or Advil and noticed that even on that Sunday morning, with no traffic at all, everyone on the sidewalk froze like deer in the headlights as soon as the light turned green. I though that was pretty stupid since there was no traffic, but as soon as I started crossing, the gumball lights came out of nowhere. I didn't even realize they were following me, until the officer with the bullhorn started screaming at me to stop and put my hands against the wall. I was frisked, my wallet and belt were taken, and I was written a ticket and expected to go to court. Went home the next day, so there is probably a warrant out for my arrest in Dallas to this day, for jaywalking.
Lyrics
DALLAS CROSSING © drDave Elliott
You can walk around in Dallas
Past the towers of steel and glass.
But if you cross against the light
They'll bust your sorry ass.
Went to Dallas for a meeting.
But it met a little late.
I met too much beer, her tongue in my ear
And I wasn't feeling great.
You can rip 'em off at Enron
Redistrict all your votes,
But if you walk against the light
They'll grab you by the throat!
Went out to fix my headache.
The sun was hot and bright.
And I noticed that even on an empty street
No-one crossed against the light.
You can sell machine guns from your car.
Burn a cross outside your neighbor's yard,
The police just smile and eat their Krispy Kremes.
You haven't broken Dallas law.
They've nothing to arrest you for.
Unless they catch you walking
In the street against the green!
I just kept on walking.
With no traffic to be seen
What a stupid local custom
Not to cross against the green!
Whores in spandex strut their stuff
Next to Arabs with Kalashnikovs
And the police just smile and
Give them all high fives.
But if you try and cross against the light,
They'll chase you down
And cuff you tight.
They get all their jaywalkers, dead or alive!
One foot in the crosswalk
And I heard the bullhorn call.
"FREEZE! YOU DIRTBAG JAYWALKER!
PUT YOUR HANDS AGAINST THE WALL!"
You can pump your oil in rusty pipes
And do away with voting rights.
But they can't prosecute you.
They got no more space to put you.
The jails are full of those who
Tried to cross against the lights!
They called me in,
They took my belt.
They cuffed me painfully.
They said 'You must be a tourist, son.
To commit this Felony."
"We may not read books in Dallas
Or have civil liberties.
But our traffic lights have cameras,
We take jaywalking seriously!"
So I skipped bond in Dallas.
Jaywalked across the border.
Hiding out in Tijuana
Escaping Dallas law and order!
You can walk around in Dallas.
Past the towers of steel and glass.
But if you walk against the light. . . .
