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Lyrics
Oh Christmas Tree, I wish this day had never been//
A day before the day and I need an ever green//
I ain't religious and I really hate Giftmas//
So I'm at the lot and I'm like, "what is this"?//
A decent fir, I cannot seem to see//
Don't wanna settle for a Charlie Brown tree//
A clever plan I can't really think of it//
Then I realized I can get away with stealin shit//
I pull up on a curb and the junker squeals a bit//
I feel the lock of the window so I can get a feel of it//
I break in with stealth, but they don't got one//
It also seems that they forgot cop one//
Then I hear screams, I've been detected//
I hop in my car and jet 'fore it gets too hectic//
I'm racking my brain, then my decision is//
I'll get me a saw and find one in the wilderness//
skit
I've been caught, oh no, this can't happen//
Who's that fool with the tree, Imma catch em?//
I got the tree on my shoulder, I was emulating Christ//
Like Jesus with the cross, I ran that night//
The dude drops his light and I'm in the clear//
I open my car and stick the tree in the rear//
I'm burning rubber at excess, fuck savin a planet//
And when I get home I smile as cool as I can manage//
The wife and kids are pleased, but they have no idea//
Well, that's my Christmas tale now see ya//
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