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Song Info
Genre
Charts
#164,875 today
Peak #248
#103,620 in subgenre
Peak #138
Rights
May 8, 2002
Uploaded
May 28, 2002
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.5 MB • 128 kbps • 0:00
Story behind the song
A lot of anger i was feeling towards the fundamentalist church i was going to, as well as my more general relationship with God, inspired me to write this song. Though it seems angry, i hope people will see it as ultimately hopeful and about keeping faith.
Lyrics
why do i feel like this sometimes huh/ungrateful punk acting out of line/acting like somebody owe me something/when i know aint nobody owe me nothing
insecurity and jealousy it's a hell to me/and in the back of my mind you telling me/that i gotta come back but i always seem to slack/why is that
no i can't lie/i feel damn lonely sometimes/and i criticize all these guys/ for wantin a girl instead of you god but sometimes i feel its too hard
and i don't even know who i'm fooling/ i sit in the back while they taking communion/i'm just deceivin em i'm no christian/ i can do it myself you know i won't listen
i can do it myself/ i can't depend on you/i gave you my trust and look who you gave it to/a hypocrite preacher he dissed my cousin/said god gave gays aids to fuck wit em
i don't believe it you'r better than that/plus the fact he distort your letter at that/and i know it's wrong for me to hate/but people like this make it hard to have faith
forgive me my spite wantin to fight/living so angry half of my life/as i forgive those who sin against me/you say lean against me put my sin on a tree
so what does that mean, is it metaphorical/allegorical don't know what i believe in/questions vex me words are deceivin/but i know u tellin me i gotta keep seeking
Instrumental
so i keep running to the top of the earth, up the hill sweat blindin me/ima go where noone can find me or just run till me breath runs out
i'm so frustrated and all i wanted/was someone who got my back/ i can't speak to their narrow minds/spend their whole lives waiting for messiah while the world goes down in fire
i get to the top, nowhere to run now/collapse on the ground with tears in my eyes now/wept till i was dry looked through my eyes/to my suprise the city gleaming
like many diamonds, the people going home/i suddenly i realize i'm not alone/cuz we're in it together and i understand/that this is what god is/ not the dogmatic theology but imbedded in the very ecology, you and me
but i wonder, how many will go home to beat their wives take their lives/i wish they could see what i see/ feel what i felt/that smoky sunset evenin on tantalus when the whole world melt/but just us people trying to live
so many days livin without purpose/ i wonder if i die tommorrow was it worth it/living so worthless sin and shame to the point where it hurts just to call your name
God i know i ain't lived right but i need your grace tonight/God i know i aint lived right but i need your grace tonight
Instrumental
i know i got pride that's burning in me/for your love no doubt got a burning in me/ and i'm learning to trust but a voice in my head keeps hurting me and telling me
you couldn't be blessing so you must be cursing me/ so undeserving ain't the first to see/but i heard you say you love me anyway/so i'm praying god that you help me keep faith
sometimes when you feel like running/chasing what you can't define/the best thing to do is just lay back/relax and ease your mind
you been graspin in every different direction/longing for a little connection/stressing you think loneliness is your fate/i can relate
but real peace can only come from within/you distracting yourself with a life of sin/it's time to come back cuz god is calling/he's the only one who'll catch you when you're falling
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