not a Christian contemporary song (just a friendly warning)
I'm an amateur with no plans to be anything else. I don't write much these days, but in my younger, less stable days I felt moved to write songs to express what was in my head.
Story behind the song
I wrote this when I couldn't beat insomnia one night. It came together very quickly. The third verse/chorus is possibly my favorite set of words I've written, in terms of expressing what I wanted to say at the time.
Written 1997
Lyrics
God was here, the story goes, and built the universe
He made us in his image and he put us here on earth
He disappeared for many years, and maybe he grew bored
But he returned so he could learn how people had performed
He then came down as one of us to see what it was like
Showed off a couple miracles and seemed so very nice
He told us that he loved us, promised us eternity
And we've been sitting by the phone for twenty centuries
A betting man would tell me that I've still got forty years
Sometimes I think that's not enough and I like awake in fear
Other times I think, oh god, not forty years of this
and contemplate a universe I accidentally missed
And people say stop b*** ing, this is the United States
Well maybe so, but I don't know why that should give me faith
in anything but suffering no so bad as the worst
and people grabbing all they can because they got here first
The big fish eats the middle fish which eats the little fish
and here alone I'll break a bone and make a little wish
upon a star that shines so far away in outer space
that if I try then I can fly off to a better place
where the big fish likes the middle fish which likes the little fish
and you won't say I'm crazy just for thinking things like this
and I can sleep the night in peace without the dread and fear
of never waking up again or waking up still here
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