Louis! I have a confession to make,
Forgive or never again speak my name.
Listen, before I depart to the grave,
Light a cigar or load another drum.
Don’t you tell my old lady I is dead,
Don’t answer the door if she comes to call.
Let her know I ran away: too much stress,
My nerves shattered like a champagne bottle.
Couldn’t deal with the pressure, popped like a cork,
I confess: I’ve never been to New York.
