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First Capital Connect
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A silly, pastische big-band song about First Capital Connect's pathetic train 'service'
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Insane piss-taking (chipmunk) songs
It all started back in the mid '90s when whilst we were at school we started writing and recording songs about our teachers using the school's four-track recorder. However, due to the fact that half of us couldn't sing for toffee, we used to record our voices at a slower tape speed than the backing track, then bounce the final mix down at the higher tape speed again, resulting in silly chipmunk voices. Since then, we've acquired more up-to-date technology than the humble cassette recorder on steroids and a dusty old SM58, and we've even started singing properly... sometimes. We've written piss-takes about various train companies, McDonalds, the Fiat Uno, Upton Park in the east end of London, as well as more seemingly mundane inanimate objects like onions and cups of tea.
Song Info
Genre
Podcasts Parody
Charts
Peak #30
Peak in subgenre #5
Author
The Potato Hermits
Rights
The Potato Hermits
Uploaded
September 14, 2008
Track Files
MP3
MP3 1.6 MB 128 kbps 1:42
Story behind the song
After having sent many complaint forms to First Capital Connect about their poor service and getting nowhere, we decided we should try to get our message across another way. So, we wrote this song, recorded it and sent them a CD in the post saying "Play me" on it. We also informed Three Counties Radio, who subsequently played the song on their breakfast show and had the managing director of First Capital Connect on the phone to defend herself. It still didn't make any difference to the service, but at least we know somebody high up in the company actually got to hear our views!
Lyrics
Just like the woman who lived in a shoe, The train's so packed I've gotta stand in the loo. Oh, First Capital connect: My ankles are blue. (And purple too.) From Sandy, Hitchin, or from Biggleswade, No doubt about it – you will be delayed. First Capital connect: Your schedule's homemade. And when Arsenal are playing People head to London to watch the game. More passengers than ever, But still, you go and halve the length of your pesky train. And when you're running four minutes behind, Your twisted stats say your train came on time. Oh, First Capital Connect: You're out of your mind. Just 'cause it's evening you double your fares; The only network so brazen to dare. First Capital connect: I'm no millionare. First Capital connect: You drive me spare.
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