Sons grow and change, becoming slightly new people with each birthday. This is a celebration and grieving of all my sons at all their ages.
A guy and an acoustic guitar
Story behind the song
The last thing I used to do before going to bed was to go around and kiss each of my sons on the head, listening to him breathe for a moment, and holding the moment in my heart. Suddenly they are so grown up.
Lyrics
His night light is on, there’s a shoe on his desk,
Open books on the floor, unfinished homework, I’d guess.
I see how he’s changed in the last month or so,
Both pleasure and loss in watching him grow.
Each trip round the sun draining strength from my hands.
I know things must change, but I don’t understand:
My son as he grows bringing chaos and joy,
With hardship and hope and the heart of a boy.
Tiny ghosts in the hall reminding me of
This child through the years, forms of him I have loved.
Watching him sleep and the sound as he breathes,
Tightens my chest and weakens my knees.
A touch to his arm and a kiss on his head,
I recall when he slept in a crib, not a bed.
With each trip round with each line in my face,
One child’s taken from me, another taking his place.
Write a line on the page, cast a line in the lake,
Loving him now before it’s too late.
Sending him out to a dangerous world,
Watch him bringing home treasures, first lizards, now girls.
A trip round the sun, a tiny ghost in the hall,
When he struggled to read or was learning to crawl.
Tonight he might sleep, but I can’t freeze the frame,
Here’s my last chance to love my son at this age.
Yes, I’m afraid that my life could end,
Before I finish my job as his father and friend.
I love who he is and who he was then.
When he’s older I’ll meet and learn to love him once again.
Another trip round the sun, another ghost in the hall,
Echoed laughter and cries: I cherish them all.
As a newborn, a toddler, age three or age four,
My heart aches to hold my little boy once more.
