Funeral Music

Funeral,piano,sad,love,lonely,missing,death,life

Failing Falling Stars By Jeffrey Hull Falling deep into this mind of questions and rejected suggestions, the time has come for yet another change. Sleeping on the edge of my borrowed bed, I rest in my mistakes lying across a memories intention to wash away this very memory. When I awake I may be deaf and mute with no lingering vision. Spiritually I have gained 26 years worth of solitude, the joy of being killed and reborn continually, as well as deep sadness around the fact that I will never make it home. I had become bored with myself and with my never-ending wisdom and knowledge. 25 years ago I tried this same alteration of divinity. I cut myself in two for the sake of argument. A divine split personality . Alpha and Omega. I remember waking up one mourning and longing for lost truth. Truth which had become fiction as is every memory. Sadness. I would walk up to strangers and ask them questions. “Would you like to talk about my death?” “No, today is not a good day” he replies as he is called in by the psychiatrists. I lay in bed naked looking out the window at a full moon Closed eyes Needles dot lights. Shining through your lost forgotten sight, all that exists in this moment this room. The blinds are up. Windows covered with sheets of wooden paper hiding the sound of the nothing behind these walls. I hear screaming. 10,000 voices in a single section of hell. Let me back to mother, she held me close the moon is on fire. father lay dead in the head at age 32 that is what I remember of him His death. We don’t talk any more because when I talk he wont listen. When he talks he isn’t speaking. At once he mentioned, “When I have a family I will be complete.” He completely lost control. This is my reflection stop staring at me god was alone. god was depressed. god killed herself. A way to express. (Big Bang Theory?) Now billions of pieces insects, children’s toys, blood, and other ideas. god is bleeding. Maybe she will want to make love. Maybe she really did die. If not, than she has failed and hates her dream even more. She asked me to imagine being alone forever playing a game creating fake separate entities to pretend I am not alone 10,000 years have passed. I forget what she is speaking about. You run into your self and she says some thing like you” “I am and you know she is right and I know I am right. Reflection in everything between heaven and hell, good and evil. The clock reads 6:07. So afraid of death in the end when we tried to die we lived as the dream began again! I saw myself in my mother I remembered At Once we were once one. Mother earth sleeps for half of her life as the sun is always awake sick from birth. I stared at the son for four years I spoke to the sun and fell in love. She began to resent me because I could only give her attention for half of each day. I could see her face in the earthling’s eyes burning hearts. Blowing out the candles. Sleeping during the day for months out only under the black sky. I miss you. I see millions of her brothers and sisters. They tell me that she has committed to suicide. I wait all night for her to come back to me. Crying, the only reason I see clearly Shooting stars drip down my face until a stranger named time takes her memory’s place and lay with in my eyes. By the time the sun came up I had forgotten that I was waiting for her to rise. Now all I want is to wake up, before I hit the ground and shatter. Into billions of tiny pieces.

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