Smoking (Wicked Musical Parody)
Funny parody of 'What Is This Feeling?' from Wicked: The Musical about cigarettes and smoking in general... SURGEON general.
Comedy hiphop rap parody jokes funny crude humor humour rude rapping freestyle
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,10115.0.html
Story behind the song
Smoking, man. Uncool. Don't be a fag hag.
Lyrics
*spoken*
GALYMPHOMA:
I rest here in the glummest of hospitals.
EMPHYSEMA:
With throat cancer.
*music starts*
BOTH:
I had the illusion
That chainsmoking was the ish.
EMPHYSEMA:
But of course, I learned a lesson.
GALYMPHOMA:
Now I'm hoarse and tired of huffin'.
BOTH:
For I smoked a pack a day to look s*** hot.
Ass.
Now I need transfusion
And this voice-box is a bitch!
GALYMPHOMA:
At-least-I am-still-quite-exceedingly-popular-in-cowboy-leather
With-hotties-all-by-my-siiide...
EMPHYSEMA:
...not.
*iron-lung instrumental*
GALYMPHOMA:
My tongue is peeling,
It's bloody and blue.
EMPHYSEMA:
I spit black foam up,
It tastes just like spew.
GALYMPHOMA:
My mouth is yucky.
EMPHYSEMA:
My teeth are greening.
GALYMPHOMA:
They taste disgusting.
BOTH:
My gums are bleeding!
Pharynx is decayin'.
Smoked like a gas main.
YECCCCHHH!!!
Smoking!
Bloody hell I hate it, smoking!
GALYMPHOMA:
What disgrace!
EMPHYSEMA:
It's gross!
GALYMPHOMA:
I'm choking!
BOTH:
Twelve a day? Let's smoke some more!
Every single day I draw and draw
My eyes start to itch, my throat gets sore
From stinkin' rotten smoking.
Such a dangerous inhalation!
Causing throat disintegration!
Immature and wrong!
Oh, I'll try to quit... then raid through trash,
Searching for a butt to lick the ash!
All because of smoking tobacco,
I've spoiled... my... lungs!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Our cylinders of tar taste so good!
You can't get cancer lighting sticks of soot!
That's an error. Utter garbage! We don't mean to sound all pious,
But our products won't cause carnage!
GALYMPHOMA:
You...wea...sels...are...stin...king...li...ars!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Though a million users have died.
It's something execs must have denied.
We just want to sell our menthol lites worldwide!
So we're all...
BOTH:
Smoking!
(Gutteral speaking, my blood strains to flow!)
Tar gets caked on haemoglobins!
(You smell this odour? They give me BO!)
Throat now smoulders. Great, I'm croaking!
(My pulse starts rushing, my head starts reeling!)
Man, it tastes like gross manure!
(Oh, I know this feeling! Buzz from nicotine!)
Movie scripts get payed,
With seven noughts
Making smokes look fresh?
Damned haute couture!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Yeeesss!
BOTH:
Noooooo!
Smoking!
ALL:
Fingers stained, so they look Asian!
Artificial respiration?
My poor old lungs!
Oh, I tried to quit... but wait, alas!
Now I am addicted to the patch!
How silly!
Smoking! (Smoking's awful? Never!)
Smoking! (Smoking!)
It aint cheap, see! (Smoking!)
Coughing goo! (So?)
Wide holes in lungs!
Smoking!
Need to stay away from smoking!
*proffers a carton of cigarettes*
EMPHYSEMA:
Smoke?
GALYMPHOMA:
AARGH!
